


The Fear Collection

by Lifeshandful



Series: Seal Team Collection [1]
Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Brothers, Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fear, Gen, Hurt, M/M, Team as Family, Whump, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 43,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeshandful/pseuds/Lifeshandful
Summary: A collection of one shots based on particular fears.
Series: Seal Team Collection [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668844
Comments: 88
Kudos: 132





	1. Aphenphosmphobia – Clay Spenser

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, just a quick note to say thank you for reading. This is a series on one shots. It was meant to be snippets to get me back into writing but well… they turned out to be anything but small… oops! Please comment and let me know what you think as I would love to hear. Thank you.

_** Aphenphosmphobia – Clay Spenser ** _

Clay flinched involuntarily yet again as the anger he felt at himself rose up along with his frustration at his involuntary action. “Sorry…” He murmured softly as he looked down at his feet and absentmindedly wrung his hands together as he pressed himself back harder against the wall that he was sat against in their confined quarters even though there was nowhere to go. “It’s alright kid.” Jason had recognised his mistake before Clay had even flinched, and he recognised the panic in his eyes. Jason crouched down in front of Clay and very carefully held out a fresh bottle of water for him to take knowing he was still dehydrated, or close too after his harrowing ordeal that had clearly left him scarred with invisible scars.

“It’s just water kid. Trent wants you to stay hydrated.” Jason kept his voice soft as he did his best not to move as he knew Clay needed to reach out, to establish contact first. Jason watched as Clay closed his eyes and, before he could stop him, hit the back of his head hard against the wall, hard enough to make one hell of a loud thud. Jason caught himself and managed to pull his hand back before he made contact with the back of Clay’s neck and before he opened his eyes. Although Jason did not miss how Sonny winced as he inched closer to them. “Okay kid, okay. I’ll just leave it right here.” Jason knew now was not the time to push any further as he could see how much further Clay had paled as his skin was almost translucent, how the beads of sweat began to pool on his forehead and how his breathing began to speed up. He very softly placed the bottle of ice cold water down on the floor in front of Clay before he slowly moved back giving him the space that he needed seeing all of the guys close by subtly watching on. With one look and a nod towards the door, the men filed out one by one, following after him.

Clay heard as the men, as his brothers, filed out of the small space leaving him alone and he opened his eyes only to raise his hands up and cover his face with them as he focused on calming himself down. It felt like his body was at war with his mind, and he was angry at that betrayal. He knew he was safe, was back at base, with his brothers but the idea of anyone touching him sent him spiralling steadfast into a panic. He knew what had triggered it, knew why he did not want to be touched but he had no idea how to overcome it. He had been through SERE training, had learnt how to disassociate with what was happening when it was happening but it had not prepared him to deal with this. He swore he could still feel the calloused hands against his skin, could still feel how cold they were as they searched him again and again, could still feel as the nails dug into his skin as they pinched and squeezed him. A violent shudder ran up his spine and an almost pained groan escaped his lips as he curled in on himself as much as he could as he let his eyes close again.

Jason stopped once he and the rest of his men were far enough away to not be heard but close enough that if Clay needed them they would be back inside within seconds before he looked at the men who all looked just as lost as he felt. “Trent?” He questioned hoping to convey what he wanted to ask without actually having to say the words out loud. Trent had managed to get close enough to Clay to check him over when that had first got him back almost forty eight hours ago although it had been a long drawn out process with plenty of breaks when the panic almost became too much for Clay to handle; although Trent had been unable to get close since, it was still a glimmer of hope for them all and hopefully he could give them some insight because even Jason had not been privy to the debrief that had taken place.

Trent let out a sigh, an exhausted sigh, before he carded his hands through his hair and looked around at his brother’s faces seeing the same feeling of exhaustion and underlying fear in each of them. “It’s not a voluntary action. He doesn’t mean to flinch or panic, he just can’t stand being touched at the moment. And it’s frustrating him even more than it is us.” He explained as best as he could without knowing what exactly had led Clay to have this fear.

“He can’t even stand having Cerberus near him. He’s never, not once, flinched at Cerb before.” Brock frowned knowing that Davis had taken Cerb to TOC with her to keep him occupied and away from Clay. It was hard to keep Cerb away when he did not understand what was going on or why he couldn’t be near Clay like he wanted to be. Of course, the hair missile was well in tune with everyone on the team and knew when something was not right.

Sonny pushed the brim of his cap up as he chewed down on the toothpick in his mouth. He went to speak but clamped his lips closed before he opened his mouth again. “What the hell did they do to him?” He asked angrily hating how fragile their confident rookie had become.

“What can we do? How can we help him? Because this cannot be good for him, all of the flinching and panicking cannot be good for him.” Ray knew that no one except Clay could answer Sonny’s question and he somehow doubted that it would ever be fully answered so the best course of action was to figure out how to help Clay through this because as of right now in his current condition he could not be a Tier One Operator if he could not be touched or in close proximity to others and that was something they did not even want to entertain. “His career as an operator could be threatened if we don’t help him, or get him help.” That statement made everyone shudder as it was clear that no one else had considered it. Jason glared at Ray who quickly put his hands up in a surrendering manner though it did little to quell that anger that flared and was radiating from Jason.

“I’m just as lost as we all are.” Trent shrugged hating how helpless he felt. “We need to talk to him, understand what is happening and make him understand that it is okay.” He figured it was the best place to start as they were trying to keep this strictly in house with Bravo as they did not need the Brass getting wind of any of this. “Get Davis and Cerb as well.” He added as an idea popped into his mind.

“Brock just said that he couldn’t stand Cerb being near him. Now you want to torture him with Cerb?” Sonny almost growled as he went to step closer to Trent but was quickly corralled by Ray with a hand on his chest and a look that said not to take another step forward. “How is crowding him with another person going to help him as well?” He added at Trent’s suggestion of including Davis. He did not like the thought of stressing their little brother out even further when he was already so distressed.

Trent turned around and looked up at the sky as he took a few deep breaths before he turned around and faced his rather impatiently waiting brothers. “We’re not the problem but we might not be helping.” The looks of confusion that met him would have been comical if it was not for the situation they found themselves in.

“What the hell does that mean?” Sonny bit out as he held his ground despite how much he was ready to shake Trent to get him to explain.

“Trent?!” Jason growled at the same time in no mood for cryptic words and riddles although he reined himself in before he said anything more as he knew that Trent was right, that they were all lost and in murky territory.

Brock’s jaw dropped as he realised what Trent was hinting at, and he met Trent’s eyes. “Because we are men?” Brock asked in confirmation to Trent’s thinking. Trent nodded once grateful that he was not the one who had said it aloud. “Okay, Davis I get but why Cerb?” He added on still not understanding that part.

“Clay loves Cerb so let’s ease him into being touched. But let’s put Cerb in his vest so he is in work mode, at least in the beginning.” Trent told them a little bit more of the rough and loose plan that was forming in his head. Brock realised what Trent was getting at by putting Cerb in his vest he would be less anxious and hopefully it would make Clay less anxious.

“What about us? What should we do?” Jason asked uncharacteristically uncomfortable.

“I have no idea how or if this is going to work but we need to be patient, remain calm, listen, go at his own pace and let him reach out first.” Trent had no idea how this landed on him well actually he did after all he was the medic but this was still was beyond the usual scope of his job. He looked at each of the guys as he spoke and then after he had finished speaking.

“Okay, I’ll go get Davis and Cerb.” Brock nodded knowing that they had to do it now if they were going to do it otherwise it would only become even harder, not that it would ever be easier.

“I’ll come with you.” Sonny knew that Brock would have his hands full with Cerb but he also realised that he needed to take a few moments before he saw Clay again, and before they went through with this vague and still developing plan of Trent’s. Brock nodded and headed off with Sonny in step with him.

Jason glanced over at Ray who was doing a terrible job at hiding his worry although he was sure he looked the same way before he looked over at Trent who was looking over at the building that was their quarters and where Clay was still holed up. Ray pursed his lips as he followed Jason’s line of sight to Trent who almost looked perplexed and he wondered if Jason was going to ask but it did not seem like he was. However before Ray could ask the question that Jason hadn’t, Sonny and Brock arrived back with Davis and Cerb who was in work mode as he was in his vest and on a short leash.

“What’s going on?” Davis asked with her concern evident as it had seeped into her voice as all she knew was that Sonny and Brock had barged into TOC demanding her and Cerb come with them and then practically dragged both of them out with a quick stop at the equipment shed to get Cerb suited up.

“Trent thinks Clay is panicking because we are men so we need you and Cerb to help him initiate contact.” Sonny explained it in lament’s terms as he still did not fully understand what the plan was.

Davis easily backhanded Sonny’s bicep making him look at her with a scowl but before he could ask she shushed him and turned her attention to Trent. “Trent, do you want to explain it to me? Tell me what it is you want me to do?” Davis had seen the distress that the whole team was in, none more so than Clay, and she knew how out of their element they were but if Trent thought she could help then she would because she loved Clay just as much as they did.

“Take it slow, let him tell us what he is comfortable with… I don’t exactly have a plan but we will figure it out as we go.” Trent hated going in blind like all of the team but they had to start somewhere.

“We’ll let you take the lead brother.” Jason knew that it would be best to follow Trent’s lead as he had been the closest to Clay so far even though it had not been without its challenges. Trent nodded and with a final inhale he headed for their quarters again.

**SEAL TEAM**

Clay jerked upright as he felt himself listing to the side before he recognised the familiar echoes of footsteps, of navy issue boots. He didn’t open his eyes or remove his hands from his face but he did tense up as the room became filled as he noted everyone’s presence and heard Cerb whine softly.

Trent did not miss how Clay had jerked nor how tense he became as they re-entered the room as he sat down on the wooden floor about four feet away from Clay on the back on his heels making a mental note that the bottle of water remained untouched where Jason had placed it. He silently motioned for Lisa to sit next to him and she followed willingly as she sat cross legged next to him making sure to maintain the same distance. Jason, Ray, Sonny and Brock with Cerberus held closely at his side all took up positions behind them around the room.

“Clay, can you look at me please?” Trent kept his voice low and soft, almost as if he was talking to a scared child. “I know you don’t want to be touched, we all know that, and none of us are going to do anything that you are not okay with.” He continued not getting any response that he silently and desperately hoped for. “I know you feel frustrated but we won’t hurt you Clay. No one in here wants to cause you any pain.” It felt ridiculous to say but he knew Clay needed to hear it.

“I know that.” Clay mumbled out from behind his hands as he pulled his legs tighter up towards his chest.

Trent glanced over at Davis as she placed her hand on his forearm and silently asked if she could try talking to him. Trent nodded and pushed himself backwards so as not to overcrowd her while she silently reached out for Cerb’s lead from Brock who handed it over to her silently while Cerb easily moved the short distance to lay down at her side with his head on his paws as he looked over at Clay intently.

“It’s okay to feel everything that you feel Clay, it’s okay. You’re safe now, you are safe.” Davis kept her voice soft but firm as she absentmindedly scratched behind Cerb’s ears. “Trent was not implying that you think that any of us are going to hurt you… We just want you to feel safe enough to let us in, to tell us what is going on inside that head of yours, and so that we can help because we can help and we want too.” She could see him shift minutely as she was sure that he was uncomfortable, after all he had been sitting on the wooden floor for hours and it was not the most comfortable place to sit.

“It’s irrational.” Clay’s words made everyone look at each other as they did not understand although they were relieved that he had started to talk.

“What is?” Davis wanted him to explain as she had to force herself not to move. There was a large part of her that just wanted to hold Clay in her arms and hug him as he reminded her of a terrified child but she knew that she could not risk making him panic. Davis felt as Sonny leaned forward and placed a hand on her shoulder seeing the internal debate that was going on inside of her as he understood it, truthfully each and every person in the room did. Cerb belly crawled a foot forward and let out a short soft whine when he could not go any further as the lead was pulled taut.

Clay let his legs slide down so that they were flat and splayed against the floor before he let his hands drop from his face and rest down on the top of his thighs but his eyes remained closed and he somehow managed to tilt his head back so he was facing up towards the ceiling. No one missed the small grimaces of pain that crossed his face or the way he pulled his bottom lip in with his teeth and held it as he moved slowly.

“Can Cerb come closer Clay? He’d really like to lay with you.” Davis knew it was a risk, knew that Clay had not explained what he meant by his words but they could always circle back around to it. She felt as Sonny’s grip unintentionally became tighter on her shoulder and she would have squirmed if it had not have been for Jason who cautiously reached out and gave Sonny’s wrist a light squeeze that made him relax his grip but keep his hand in place.

Clay shook his head from side to side as his hands curled into fists and he dug his fingernails into his palms. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again. “I can still feel the hands on my skin.” The words slipped out even though he had not meant for them too. “It’s irrational because I know where I am, I know who is with me but I can’t stop myself from reacting. And I hate that I can’t control it.” He bit down on his lip so hard that it split open and a narrow trail of blood made its way down his chin.

Davis glanced back at Trent before she turned her attention back to Clay and to Cerb. In that second she made a decision and she let Cerb have a little more length on his lead until he belly crawled forward enough so that the tip of his front paws were pressed up against Clay’s ankle before she restricted him once more waiting to gauge his reaction. “They can’t touch you anymore Clay.” She reassured him seeing how his left hand unclenched and reached out hesitantly towards Cerb. She let go of the lead completely and watched as Cerb kept his movements slow as he shuffled towards Clay’s outstretched hand and nudged the hand with his wet nose. Davis relaxed back as Trent inched forward again while the rest of the team relaxed minutely as they had made progress. Sonny moved down so that he was seated just behind and off to the side of Davis before he looked back at Jason, Ray and Brock who all remained seated yet close by.

“Clay, can you open your eyes for me? I’d really like to see those baby blues of yours.” Sonny’s soft voice bought out his southern drawl in the most intense way. As soon as he spoke he found himself holding his breath as he wondered if he had pushed too far. “Let yourself see us Clay.” He hoped it would help to ground him. Cerb crawled closer until his head was laid on Clay’s thigh with his nose pressed against his hip and they all let out a breath when he did not panic at the physical contact that Cerb has offered.

It wasn’t that Clay couldn’t open his eyes, it was that he simply did not want too. He did not want to see the disappointment or the worry or the sympathy or any other of the multitude of emotions that he was sure he would see in the eyes of those that surrounded him. But he knew that he could not keep them closed forever. With a few more deep breaths he finally opened his eyes and looked over at Sonny before his eyes shifted around the room at everyone else in a quick fleeting motion as he fought to control the panic that rose up within him before his eyes landed on Cerb who was still against him.

“We’re not going anywhere kid.” Jason assured him making him glance up and over at him before his eyes once against found their way back to his hand that now rested between Cerb’s ears. “We’re here.” Jason reiterated it in the hopes that the more he heard it then he would believe it if he had any doubt.

The lack of eye contact was concerning to all of them as it had definitely not gone unnoticed by any of them although they all had the good sense not to mention it. “Clay, do you think you can reach your other hand out to mine?” Sonny wanted to get him to uncurl his right hand from its fisted position, and hoped that he would realise it was okay to initiate contact with them.

“No.” Clay shook his head vigorously ignoring how the movement made his head protest even more as he still had one hell of a headache. He wanted to be able to but he could not bring himself too, the mere thought made him nauseous which he swallowed down.

“Okay… It’s alright.” Trent quickly assured him as the last thing he wanted was for Clay to work himself up into a panic or rather another one, and he noted how he was becoming paler which every movement almost grey even. “Just take a few deep breaths for us Spense.” He instructed hoping to quell the onset of panic and pain.

“Spense, hey, tell me where you are, what you can feel and what you can hear.” Brock figuratively stepped in although he did not move from where he was sat as the last thing Clay needed was to feel crowded on top of what he was already feeling. “Where you are, what you can feel, and what you can hear.” He repeated seeing that he was fighting against the panic.

“B-Base… Cerb… m…my h-he-heart.” Clay answered fumbling over the words a little but he was doing his best to keep inhaling and exhaling.

“Good, that’s really good. You are on base. You can feel Cerb. And you can hear your heart. That’s good.” Brock had remembered the technique from an old first aid course pamphlet from years ago. “Now I want you to tell me what you want right now, I want you to tell me what you need right now.” Brock knew this part could backfire on him as Clay could take the opportunity to push them away but there was a piece of him that didn’t believe that was what their little brother wanted given what he had said although he did not miss the way Trent tensed or the scowl that Sonny sent his way.

“I don’t want this…” The words were rushed out and harsh sounding.

“Don’t want what Clay?” Brock probed as there were a number of things that his answer could mean.

“This… this fear of being touched… I don’t want to feel like this.” Clay gasped and arched his back away from the wall as his lungs burned and his chest heaved painfully before he slumped back as Cerb pawed at his thigh and nuzzled closer to him.

“And you won’t forever. It’s just going to take some time which is alright. We have time.” Brock assured him although he was aware that time was not exactly on their side. Brock glanced around the room hoping someone would jump in and take over for him as he had no idea where to go from where they had gotten too.

“Why don’t we talk things though? Set some perimeters and goals to work towards? Maybe even try one or two?” Ray had noticed how Brock was looking around for someone to take over so he stepped up with the first thing that came into his mind. Targets, just like when they were on a mission and had code words that checked off a successful step, were what they needed. In his mind they had already reached two targets: 1) Getting Clay to talk to them and, 2) Getting Clay to make contact with Cerb even though it had been Cerb who had initiated the contact but Clay had been receptive unlike before.

“Like what?” Clay asked as he resumed scratching the space between Cerb’s ears settling the dog and himself.

“Why don’t we start with one of us sitting next to you but not touching you? And once you are comfortable with that you can reach out and check that person’s pulse then they can check yours once you feel ready for it?” Davis suggested lightly seeing that Trent wanted to perform another medical examination as he was as concerned as she and everyone else was about his health. She hoped that it would be help to make him feel safe and secure enough that it would allow for progress.

Clay did not look up and they all could see how his bottom lip was once more curled in between his teeth and bitten down on making it bleed again as he weighed Davis’ suggestion. The look of hesitation made them all ache but they remained silent as they waited for him to decide despite the internal debate that was clearly raging on inside of him. With a shaky exhale and a very subtle nod, Clay agreed to the suggestion. “We can stop though?” He asked after a few short moments wanting nothing more than to curl in on himself again but he told himself that Cerb was comfortable so he made an effort not to curl up as a response to the panic he felt.

“We can stop if it is too much Clay, I promise.” Davis spoke quickly as everyone else nodded in silent agreement. She was relieved that he was clearly receptive to the idea of trying her suggestion(s) as it meant he really did want to work through it.

“Okay.” Clay hesitantly agreed as he raised his free hand to swipe at the blood that was on his chin, wiping at it with the back of his hand and stemming the flow.

“Okay.” Davis answered as she looked around at the guys again to see who would be best to do what had been agreed upon. Trent being the medic was the ideal option but somehow she figured he was not the best option right now as he had already been close. “Can Brock sit next to you?” Her question caught all of the men off guard as they looked at her questioningly but Brock had an easy going and calming nature that meant he was her pick for this first step. Clay nodded once but gave nothing more so Davis nodded towards Brock who slowly made his way over to beside Clay.

Brock, nor did anyone else, did not miss how Clay tensed as he got closer to him but unless Clay told them to stop they would keep going. Brock eased himself down onto the floor next to Clay with a space of about five inches between them and waited, unwilling to push any further. Brock made sure that his arm was laid down on top of his thigh so that his wrist was exposed if and when Clay was ready to take the next step.

Clay blew out a harsh ragged breath and swiped at his still bleeding lip once more with the back of his now blood smeared hand. He glanced sideways with his eyes towards Brock as he forced himself to calm down and acknowledge his presence next to him. “Brock?” Clay mumbled softly with a weariness he had never felt before after a few minutes of silence that felt like it had become awkward.

“Yeah Spense?” Brock sent a quick glance towards the rest of the team before he answered Clay.

Clay shook his head dismissing anything that he wanted to say and instead focused on how suffocating the silence had begun to feel. “Can someone talk about anything?” His question seemed to catch them all off guard yet again. “Don’t like the silence right now.” He added in way of explaining why he had asked and could see the recognition of what he was asking for.

“Have you heard the story of the time Sonny got left with a series of bright red lipstick prints all over him and his uniform?” Davis’ smirk had Sonny blushing as the rest of the men began to smirk as they recalled the story.

“You’re just jealous.” Sonny groused not wanting to relive it but if the kid needed to hear something, anything, than he would. Clay pouted his lips together but shook his head signalling that he had not heard the story before.

“Jase, I think you better tell this one. The story does not need any embellishments.” Ray withheld the laugh that threatened to escape his lips as he could still recall the stunned look on Jason’s face when they had found the Texan.

Jason swiped a hand over his face before he gently shoved Ray away seeing his 2IC’s amusement and knowing how hard it was to tell the story with a straight face. “We were on a rescue mission and were searching through this house…” Jason began trying to control himself.

“Mansion boss…” Ray cut in, correcting him, as the place was a mansion with way too many rooms to search.

“…Searching through this mansion and we split up to cover more ground as we were trying to locate a missing American… Anyway in the midst of searching Sonny goes missing, we have no contact with him so we start tracing back to the last point of known contact.” Jason was trying his best to skip some of the details that might put Clay on edge like the missing man had supposedly been taken and was being held hostage.

“I did not go missing.” Sonny had the decency to look sheepish even as he rejected the label he had been given in this story.

“You didn’t respond to any radio calls.” Davis pointed out with a waggle of her finger at him.

“I was a little busy.” Sonny answered straight away.

“Oh yeah you were.” Trent teased with a smirk although his eyes did not leave Clay who he could see was listening.

“Either way we could not locate him straight away. We end up finding him and the missing man under attack from a bunch of rather excited women.” Jason stopped the bickering that was sure to break out just as it did every time this story was told although the bickering was usually over the embellishments that were added each time it was told as it was truly one of the more outlandish stories that they had come home with.

“Sex starved maniacs is a more accurate description boss.” Trent quipped lightly seeing how Clay’s body was relaxing and how his free hand was hovering in the air as it kept reaching towards Brock’s wrist but was retracted just as quickly.

“There were probably forty women split into two groups. Sonny had been taken by surprise…” Jason snickered at his own words before he continued. “… I don’t think there was a single space on him, his uniform or his gun that did not have lip stick prints.” He could still recall how shocked the man who spent a lot more time than any of them in strip clubs and surrounded by strippers looked at the onslaught although it had been hard to see the man who had been blindsided and ended up on the floor covered by the women.

“Never seen a man with two loaded guns before look so defenceless.” Ray was quick to point out.

“Couldn’t exactly throw a frag now could I?” Sonny really hated this story, and what he hated more was the smirks on his brothers faces and Davis’.

Brock remained quiet throughout the story because throwing jabs at Sonny was less important as he had seen the same thing as Trent. Each time that Clay reached his free hand out he would get a little closer before he would retract it back into his body again. Brock did not miss the slight tremble in Clay’s fingertips though although he was not sure how much of that was bought on by fear or the fact that Clay was still not recovered from the dehydration and starvation.

“Those women weren’t exactly the easiest to corral into letting either of us go if I recall. Certainly were not into listening to the orders of the US Navy, after all I had already tried that.” Sonny pointed out knowing that even the great Jason Hayes’ orders had not been followed by those women at first.

Clay was not paying attention to the words that were being said around him instead he was focusing on his attempts, however many he made, to reach out to check Brock’s pulse like Davis had suggested but every time he got closer he would recoil. He silently cursed himself and his actions as he tried to formulate a plan in his head. With one final sigh he turned his head so that he was facing Brock, so that he could see him, and forced his hand to reach out. He nimbly wrapped his fingers around Brock’s bare wrist and found the pulse point that he knew was there all the while forcing himself to remain calm and keep his hand where it was. “That’s it Clay.” Brock spoke softly somewhat surprised that it had not taken as long as he thought it would for Clay to make the contact that they had decided on.

Davis smiled as soon as Trent nudged her and she followed his line of sight to see that Clay was steadily holding onto Brock’s wrist and checking his pulse while Sonny and Ray went back and forth with corrections and jabs about the story that had just been told. Davis glanced over at Jason who was smiling as he was watching the scene between the two of his men just as she and Trent were.

Clay looked at Brock more for reassurance than anything else before he glanced back down at Cerb who exhaled loudly sending a whoosh of hot air over him. “Do you want me to try and check your pulse Clay?” Brock asked seeing that Clay had opened and closed his mouth a few times before to speak but had not ended up saying anything. Clay nodded but Brock was hesitant to move forward on that mere action alone. “Need you to tell me Spense.” Brock felt like it was the best option to have verbal consent from Clay so that he felt that he was in control.

“Try please.” Clay rushed out in a loud whisper unintentionally tightening his hold on Brock’s wrist not that Brock was about to mention anything because instead of rejecting contact Clay was initiating it.

“Remember you say stop and we can stop.” It felt important to Brock to reiterate that again before he lifted the hand that was not beneath Clay’s and gently moved it towards his wrist. Brock stopped just above Clay’s wrist as he saw the panic fill his eyes but a small nod spurred him into action. Brock placed his hand down on Clay’s wrist and with practised ease found his pulse that was a lot faster than it should have been. He sent a look towards Trent as he mentally counted the beats per minute.

Clay desperately wanted to recoil and curl up but there was something comforting about the touch too. He knew what was different, he knew where he was and who he was with, and he knew all of that helped. “You’re doing great Spense.” Brock comforted him after having finished taking his pulse although he had not let go instead Brock swiped his thumb steadily over the underside of his wrist a couple of times having made a mental note of the trembling that he could feel.

“I’m tired.” The admission was not a surprise given that he had not slept since they had gotten him back and a mental count by Trent quickly concluded that it had to have been at least ninety six hours since the kid had had more than a few minutes sleep which would have been when they had left base on their mission as he knew he had not slept more than fifteen minutes since they had gotten him back as every time he would let his eyes close he would jerk himself awake, and he doubted that his captors would have let him rest at all because he was sure that Clay would have not let himself rest either.

“We know that you are kid and you can go to sleep for as long as you want to once you have something to drink and eat.” Trent hated that he had to force Clay to stay awake a little longer but he really wanted to get something into his stomach before he let him sleep although he did not care what it was that he ate as long as it was something. The last thing Clay needed was to be hooked up to an intravenous drip so they could give him fluids as that would surely set him back but he was already dehydrated or have to have an NG tube forced into his body to give him the nutrients that he needed.

“Cerb will stay with you when you sleep.” Brock still had not let go of Clay and was still gently swiping his thumb back and forth over his wrist although he had noticed that Clay’s hold had relaxed somewhat but remained present.

“How about one of those peanut butter protein bars that you like?” Sonny knew the kid had an unhealthy obsession with the peanut butter protein bars that Davis always had a stash of after she had introduced him to them, and never once had the offer of one of those failed to get him to eat. Clay nodded as he let out a yawn but forced himself to keep his eyes open still looking on wearily.

“I’ll go and get you a few of them. Why don’t you start with some water?” Davis made sure to keep her movements slow as she rose to her feet knowing that Trent wanted to get his fluid intake up as well and the bottle of water was still untouched in front of him. Davis nodded towards Trent as she stepped around Sonny and slipped out of the tight quarters heading for her own quarters to get a box of the protein bars and she wanted to stop by the teams supply shed to get one of the extra thick and cosy blankets that she always packed when they were deployed just for occasions like this where extra comfort was needed although she was thankful for how rare they were.

“Bunk?” Clay questioned tiredly as his exhaustion was finally winning as he finally turned his attention towards Trent with pleading eyes.

“We’ll help you into your bunk as soon as you have eaten a bar and had some water.” Trent decided to take the lead knowing that if he went in his bunk now that he would be asleep within seconds. He was relieved that Clay was not fighting them on having something to eat or drink but he also suspected that it was only because he was so exhausted; either way he was not about to comment on it.

“Clay I want you to let go of Cerb and take the bottle of water from Trent. He is just going to open it for you.” Brock instructed knowing that the water would no longer be ice cold but it would suffice for now and he figured that Clay did not have the strength to open the bottle up. Brock also did not want to risk breaking the contact that Clay seemed content to have with him so it was easier to get him to let go of Cerb who would stay pressed up against him as he was. Trent sent a glance Brock’s way as they silently communicated as both were watching for changes in Clay as Trent slowly lent forward and grabbed the bottle of water then removed the cap and held it out to Clay to take.

Clay hesitated which everyone noticed especially after how wearily he had watched Trent take the water and remove the cap before he finally reached out and took the bottle of water. “Small sips Spense.” Sonny kept his voice soft as he reminded Clay to take small sips because the last thing he needed was to feel worse than he already did. Clay wanted to push the bottle of water away but he knew that he had to drink, had to try at least. He raised the bottle to his lips and took a small sip as instructed; relishing the way the water took away the dryness in his mouth and down his throat as he swallowed. After a few more small sips, he pushed the bottle away from him not even realising that it was Sonny who reached out and took it from him whilst being careful not to accidently make any contact as he did so.

Clay looked up as Davis ambled her way back into the quarters carrying a large blanket and a box of the protein bars he liked. She passed the blanket to Ray who had a look of surprise on his face before she leaned down using Sonny’s shoulder to brace herself against and held out the box to Trent. Trent had seen how Clay’s interest had piqued when Davis had arrived back just as everyone else’s had but he was more focused on the box that she held out to him. With ease Trent opened the box and pulled out one of the wrapped bars seeing that Clay’s eyes were following each and every movement with caution and so with that knowledge Trent moved so that Clay had a clear line of sight as he unwrapped the bar and then held it out for him to take. The look of mistrust that projected from Clay was heart breaking but then again there was nothing about this that was easy for any of them.

“Bunk please?” Clay really had no interest in eating the bar that Trent was holding out especially how his stomach was already reacting to the few small sips of water that he had drunk.

“You just need to have a few bites Clay.” Ray had glanced over to Jason who looked ready just to let Clay crawl into his bunk without anything to eat because of how scared and child-like he had sounded but Ray knew that he would only feel even worse if that happened. Ray did not care if Clay did not finish the whole bar but a few bites were better than nothing, and they could always get him something else once he woke up. Ray could see that everyone was affected just like he was but the last thing and the worst thing they could do for Clay was waiver especially on something that was so important to his health.

“A couple of bites and then you can sleep for as long as you like.” Jason reinforced Ray and Trent’s insistence that Clay eat, or at least try to eat, a few bites of the peanut butter protein bar. He did not want to make it an order as he was sure that would be detrimental but if he had too then he was prepared to do so.

Clay glanced down at Cerb who had remained where he lay between his legs. “Don’t even think about it. Cerb can’t share the bar with you.” Brock teased lightly capturing Clay’s attention once more although he knew that Clay wouldn’t try to feed Cerb any of it. Clay exhaled loudly but found himself reaching out for the offered bar knowing that his team were not going to compromise on him having something to eat despite how much he hoped they would.

Davis, as soon as Clay had taken the first small bite of the bar and had managed to swallow it down, pushed herself up off of the floor and made her way over to Clay’s bed silently thankful that he had one of the bottom bunks only stopping to take the blanket that she had shoved into Ray’s arms back from him. She knew that he did not need an audience to watch him sit and eat but she could not help occasionally glancing over at him as she turned down the bedding and spread the cuddly blanket over top then fluffed the standard issue pillow.

Clay pushed the bar away from himself and dropped it into Trent’s outstretched hand when it was almost three quarters of the way gone as he was unable to stomach anymore. “Sleep now?” He asked as it was all he could focus on as he was tired of fighting to stay awake; first he had to stay awake throughout the mission which had included an arduous hike then he had to stay awake and alert during his confinement then it was during the medical assessment until now.

Brock glanced at Trent at the question knowing that Trent was not satisfied medically but they had made some progress and for that Trent would just have to be accepting. The next question was how to get Clay up and off of the floor then over to his bunk without causing him any further panic and pain as they were all sure that he was not going to make it over on his own. Clay had not shifted away from Brock the entire time he struggled through the bar as he had nibbled on it. “Yeah Spense, you can go to sleep as soon as you are in your bed.” Brock assured him softly seeing that he was fading fast as he had finally relaxed enough to let his body give in to its exhaustion. “Can someone else give me a hand to get you up off the ground?” Brock continued knowing it was a precarious situation he found himself in as it could be the push that was too far. Clay was overtired and his body was failing him even as he nodded as even speaking felt beyond him now. “Okay, thank you. Cerb.” Brock was grateful that his question had not caused a reaction but it was not a guarantee that there would not be one once someone moved into help before he called Cerb and gestured with his hand for the protective dog to move which was begrudgingly obeyed.

With careful movements, Sonny managed to get himself positioned to take Clay’s elbow once Brock had twisted himself around without breaking the hold Clay had on his wrist, and between the two of them they managed to get him up off of the floor and up on his feet although neither of them missed how tense his body had become beneath their hands. Clay’s body protested the movement in its entirety as every single part of him ached; the grimace that escaped his lips was easily heard in the silence of the confined quarters.

“There you go.” Sonny withheld the smirk that wanted to make an appearance as he and Brock stepped back from the bed and watched as Davis stepped forward making sure that Clay was comfortable on his side and tucked in with the blankets right up to his chin before Cerb crawled up and nestled into his side. Clay let out a soft mumbled ‘thanks’ as his eyes were already closed and his breathing evened out quickly as he finally allowed himself to sleep.

Davis smiled fondly at the blonde who looked years younger once he was asleep with his chin nuzzled into the blankets that he had a secure grip on as the edges of it were held securely in his fisted hands as he laid on his side facing towards them. A part of her wanted to protect him and stay by his side to make sure that his sleep was restful rather than restless but she knew that Clay would not appreciate her or the others watching him sleep although they would not be far away from him especially in the coming weeks and months.

“Come on.” Davis nudged Brock and Sonny with her hands on their arms as they had not stepped away knowing that Jason, Ray and Trent were all watching on and waiting as it looked like there would be some things to discuss.

“Look at you being all maternal Davis.” Sonny could not help himself or refrain from making the comment but truthfully it was a sweet sight and he knew it was something she would do for any of them, hell she had already before. With a pointed glare that softened once she glanced back to make sure that he had not been roused by Sonny’s voice she made both men return to the other side of the room and followed behind them. “You all need to get a shower and have something to eat yourselves, maybe even grab a nap while he’s sleeping as well.” She knew that they had not stopped either and while the men of Bravo would take care of Clay they also needed someone to take care of them or remind them to take care of themselves. The last suggestion of napping while Clay napped was not lost on her especially with Sonny’s comment about her being maternal but she ignored it as she saw him smirk and raise an eyebrow towards her.

“We will but there are things we have to discuss first.” Jason looked at Trent for guidance although he knew that Davis was right especially as he looked around at his men who all looked as haggard as he felt.

“I know.” Davis sat back down on the floor already having a fair idea of what was going to be discussed.

“Honestly we achieved more than I thought we would considering I really didn’t have a plan.” Trent shrugged as he looked at Davis who had been a monumental part in getting Clay to talk and accept that he was safe.

“What happens next though?” Sonny asked as his eyes once more flickered over to Clay to make sure he was still sleeping undisturbed. The softness of his voice did not go unnoticed by the rest of the men as they knew how close the two were and it had to hurt that Clay was reacting the way he was after all it was hurting them all and the bond was different between them.

“We will have to reassess when he wakes up to see where he is at. We have to remember he has been awake for at least ninety six hours and that kind of sleep deprivation could be making things worse. On top of that he is also dehydrated and until just now I doubt he has had anything to eat since we left base for our mission. I know I did not see him snack on anything while we were watching and waiting until we got the green light to move in.” Trent was quick to remind them of the basics which were not helping Clay and his state. “But in saying that he does recognise that he is safe in his head, it is just his body that has not caught up completely.” There was a light dash of relief that went through the room.

“Maybe we should still err on the side of caution though until we are completely sure?” Ray was hesitant to say it aloud which is why it sounded far more questioning than he meant it too.

“Probably a good idea.” Jason agreed readily seeing the nod of agreement from Brock. “What are you thinking?” The question was directed at Ray but was open for everyone to answer after all they were all involved and they all needed to be in agreement so that it would be easier on the kid.

“Before anyone initiates contact make sure to ask if it can be helped. And if Spense wants to initiate contact then let him?” Brock suggested with a shrug although he knew the ‘if it can be helped’ stipulation would be questioned as soon as he said it although he could also see Trent nodding in agreement.

“What do you mean ‘if it can be helped’? Why wouldn’t it be?” Sonny immediately felt defensive and protective all at once as he glared at Brock who looked resigned and exhausted as they all felt.

“We might not be with him all the time and someone might reach out as we can’t exactly share this with anyone. Or we might be in close proximity or accidently brush against him. All I am saying is that we do not know if there will be something that triggers a reaction and until we do know then we need to be aware of ourselves and others around him.” Brock pinched the bridge of his nose after he had finished talking before he saw the look of resignation settle across Sonny’s face as he reminded himself that they were all frazzled by the entire event.

“I really prefer you not talking.” Sonny grimaced although he knew that it was something that would have to be considered.

“Sonny.” Davis reprimanded merely by the tone of her voice although she knew that he was just as hurt as the others by what had happened to Clay and how it had affected him and all of them, and for that he could not be blamed.

“It’s just until we know more. We might get lucky and it might just be that he is overwhelmed by everything or it might be a bit of work but either way we will get the kid through it.” Jason stepped in to quell the rant that was sure to happen, a real Sonny Quinn special.

“Let’s wait and see. For now its time to shower, eat and get some sleep for all of you. I’ll stay here while you go get cleaned up.” Davis was firm in her orders even though she knew that they would return as quick as they could as they were already hesitate to not be near him. Each of the men looked at each other than to Davis before they looked over at Clay who still had not moved at all but was finally sleeping.

“Davis is right. Showers, food, and sleep for all us. Best way to help the kid is by taking care of ourselves so we can take care of him in whatever way he needs us to do so.” Jason was hesitant to leave Davis alone with Clay not because he did not trust her but because he was worried how Clay would react if he woke and found that they were not close by. However he knew that it was never wise to underestimate Davis after all she had been a massive part in getting Clay to open up to them even though it was only the beginning. And he knew she was right as none of them had been worried about their own hygiene and health with Clay missing and then in the state that he was.

“Go. I’ve got him, and Cerb isn’t going anywhere.” Davis could see the sense of fear that was simmering within the men at being away from their little brother but a short reprieve was best for all of them as they would be relied upon heavily in the coming days. With that final push the men followed as Jason lead them out albeit hesitantly.

**SEAL TEAM**

Sonny glanced at his watch yet again before he looked over at Trent who looked just as impatient as he felt as the fourteenth hour clicked by. “Are you sure we shouldn’t wake him up? He’s been asleep for over fourteen hours. We’ve all showered twice, eaten twice and had more than enough sleep.” Sonny was getting more and more impatient as the time ticked by and he knew his brothers felt the same way given that they had only napped intermittently and had been up multiple times to look at Clay to make sure he was still breathing and not suffering from any nightmares but the kid had not moved at all as he was still in the same position as he was when he fell asleep and Cerb had refused to move from his side either.

“Leave him be Sonny. His body needs to rest.” Davis spoke up before Trent could even open his mouth to answer. Sure she wanted him to wake up but it was obvious that he needed to sleep given how exhausted he had been. However she could also see the internal war that was going on inside each and every member of Bravo who were hovering anxiously about in the quarters and who were only getting antsier the longer he slept. “Come back over here.” She added on with a wave of her hand towards herself. Sonny gave her a half hearted glare before it faded into a morose expression as he returned back to where she and the rest of the team where sitting.

“I’m going to have to put an I.V into him once he does wake though to replenish his fluids.” Trent verbalised the thought that he had been agonising over since hour number ten had passed by as he ran his hand through his hair and tugged on it sharply. Although he was glad that the younger man was asleep and peacefully at that, he was still concerned about how little water he had consumed before they had got him into his bed and how dehydrated he really was.

“We’ll figure that out once he is awake and see how he reacts.” Ray placated quickly seeing how the medic was struggling between having to do what was medically required and risking sending Clay into a full blown panic attack at being touched if he was not more aware when he did wake.

“He needs to eat more as well.” Brock added on having picked up on Trent’s discomfort like Ray had. “Something more substantial if possible.” He added on as an afterthought but even he knew that they did not care what he would eat as long as he did.

“We should try to get him outside, get some fresh air. I could organise for it just to be Bravo around the fire pit for the night. Clay can curl up in a chair with a blanket and Cerb. The fire always seems to relax him.” Davis offered knowing Clay had not been outside since he had arrived back at base with Bravo and the fresh air would be good for him. She doubted that he would want to do much more and she knew that Bravo would be sticking close, closer than usual given how shaken up they were even if they tried not to show it. She looked over at Jason who looked at Trent asking him silently for his opinion to which his reply was a shrug and earned a nod in reply from Jason.

“Sleeping beauty is really earning his name.” Sonny’s comment lightened the atmosphere momentarily as smiles, smirks and snickers came from the others until a pain grunt filled the air as the bedding rustled which had all of their attention immediately.

Awareness returned slowly and with a concerted effort Clay forced his eyelids to open after he darted his tongue out and over his dry lips. With a grunt he shifted his leg and a sharp cramp shot through his left thigh making him grimace and he closed his eyes again as his face contorted in pain. Cerb let out a soft whine before giving his exposed fingertips a soft lick.

Jason was up on his feet before anyone else had moved quickly but cautiously closing the gap between himself and Clay. “Hey kid, it’s okay, you’re okay.” He kept his voice soft as he knelt down next to the bed so that he was at eye level with Clay. He did not miss the shaky breath that Clay let out. “We’re here kid.” The pain was evident on the kid’s face and Jason was half tempted to give him an injection of morphine but without knowing what exactly hurt or why he could not.

Clay grunted again as he pushed at the blankets in an effort to uncover himself as he tried to stretch his legs out noting how sore and uncomfortable his entire body felt. It felt like every bone in his body had decided to make itself known in the form of an ache and a tightness that he had not felt in a very long time. He couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes just yet as he was focused on breathing through the pain but he heard the reassuring words that were directed at him as he felt Cerb move off of the bed.

Trent ended up beside Jason knelt down on his knees watching as Clay struggled to breathe through the pain he was experiencing and hating that they could not get a verbal response from him as Jason continued to repeat his words. Davis stood behind Trent with her hand placed on his shoulder giving it a light squeeze every few seconds while Ray, Brock and Sonny anxiously stood near the end of the bed while Cerb stayed close by stationed by Jason.

“He needs to sit in a tub of hot water and Epsom salt.” It was another thing to add to the growing list of things that needed to be done sooner rather than later although it did not make the top as far as any of them were concerned but it was a close second as Clay did not need to suffer anymore if it could be helped or at least eased. So far the list was: 1) Get him to eat and drink as well as get an intravenous line running to replenish his fluids, 2) Get him into a bath to ease his soreness, and, 3) Get him outside for some fresh air.

Clay bought his legs up again, curling them up towards his chest, as his thigh finally stopped cramping much to his relief. He still felt exhausted but he also wasn’t ready to go back to sleep. With some difficulty he managed to open his eyes once more to see his team, his brothers and Davis all near him, protectively and worried. “What hurts brother?” Trent’s question made him frown as usually the medic didn’t hesitate to examine him thoroughly with his hands even when he protested it but then everything came crashing back like a wave that he had not been expecting to hit him with a powerful force that he was sure would have knocked him off of his feet if he had been standing. He arched his back then stretched his legs out again before he managed to roll onto his back and pulled himself up into a sitting position and let his legs splay. “Spense, Clay, need to know what is going on brother so I can help.” Trent tried again resisting the urge to reach out and examine him from head to toe.

“Everything aches. Thigh’s cramping.” Clay rarely admitted he was in pain so it showed how much his defences were down as he spoke openly that his entire body ached and that his thigh was cramping. His voice was hoarse and it was just another part of his body to add to the uncomfortable list.

“I’m not surprised that you are aching considering you haven’t moved the whole time you have been sleeping.” Trent nodded his head in agreeance at Jason’s comment but he knew there was more to it as dehydration could also cause some of the symptoms that he was experiencing.

Clay bought his hand up to his hair and ran his fingers through the tousled blonde locks that desperately needed to be trimmed before he began moving to get out of the bed on the opposite side to where his team were.

“Woah, brother! Just stay where you are for a bit. Let yourself get orientated.” Ray moved around to the other side of the bed managing to catch himself before he reached out to stop Clay from getting out of the bed as his feet were already on the ground and he was about to push himself up.

“Need to move, walk it off.” Clay grimaced but made no effort to stand up as even moving the small amount had left him pained. Ray glanced over at Trent who had silently signalled for Brock to pass him his medical bag that was full of supplies from the infirmary that he had stocked up on and that he was now rummaging through.

Brock moved towards Clay and Ray moved back to make some room as Brock knelt down in front of him but maintained a small gap between their bodies although Clay did not tense as he had done before. “There are some things that we need you to do for us so that we can help you. Our deal still stands though, if there is anything that you need us to stop doing then all you have to do is say. We will stop, give you however long you need and then we are going to figure out how to get through it.” Brock spoke calmly and clearly letting Clay take in what he was saying because from his position he could still see how exhausted he looked and the pain that marred his features. “Do you understand Spense?” He asked after giving him adequate time to take in what had been said.

Clay bought his hands forward and held them in his lap as he looked at them studying the minute lines of his skin intently as he mulled over Brock’s words. What did he need to do? How can they help him? How long is too long? Get through it? There were so many questions that were forming in his already overtaxed brain and he felt his breath hitch.

“Clay, hey, look at me. Do you understand?” Brock could see the panic rise in him and had to do something to bring him out of his revelry. Clay’s eyes snapped upwards and found his showing he had his attention and the understanding was conveyed silently making Brock nod his head in recognition. “Can you give me your hand?” Brock held his hand out so that his palm was facing upwards hoping that a physical connection would help.

“Like what?” Clay coughed as speaking made his throat hurt as he reached his hand out and placed it in Brock’s outstretched one feeling the tightness in his shoulders as he did so. Brock let Clay rest his hand against his but made no effort to close his hand.

“I need to put an I.V into you so that we can give you some fluids. It will help to ease the aching and the cramping that you are feeling. It can go in your hand.” Trent took over seeing Brock look to him to do so having already got everything he needed. Even though he knew that an intravenous cannula worked better in the vain of the arm, he was prepared to put one in the back of Clay’s hand because Brock already had a hold of his hand.

“And we need you to have some more water and something else to eat.” Brock had felt Clay tense at Trent’s words but he knew it was not an option and that it had to be done. “We just want to make you feel better, and that is what will help to begin with. After that then you can go and soak in a tub full of Epsom salt while the fluids finish dripping into you.” Brock did not want to overwhelm Clay and figured that was enough of their plans for now.

“We’ll keep refilling it until you’re as wrinkly as a prune.” Sonny quipped trying to get a smile from his little brother unable to stand idle although he had noted that his body language was a lot more relaxed now despite the pain.

“After it’s in, can I get up?” Clay didn’t seem too fazed by anything that had been said as he did not protest any of it but he really did want to get up and walk for a little bit to help stretch everything out. “Might need a bit of help though.” It occurred to him that he was still weak as a frown settled back on his face at the thought of needing help to take a few steps once more.

“We’re here kid and will help in any way you need us too.” Jason quickly assured him feeling that he would need a lot of reassurance for a while, and a chorus of agreements came immediately at the conclusion of his statement.

“Yeah you can move around once I get this sorted.” Trent moved around to the other side of the bed and knelt next to Brock who did not move an inch figuring that Clay had not asked for much since they had got him back so if he was requesting to move around then he would not be the one to deny him it. Clay nodded and took a deep breath signalling that it was okay for Trent to proceed which he did, managing to find the vain on his first attempt and getting the I.V started in mere minutes.

“Any requests for what you’d like to eat?” Davis asked seeing Sonny hold out a fresh bottle of cold water for Clay who took it almost immediately and began to sip on it as Trent finished securing the cannula with a large bandage to his hand. She figured that she would take a trip to get him something to eat while the guys helped him up and around. Clay shook his head slowly from side to side as he really wasn’t sure what he wanted to eat or even if he wanted to eat but he knew he had too. “Okay, I will get an assortment of things.” She smiled softly and went to step away.

“Make sure it’s easy on the throat please Davis.” Brock requested not missing the grimace each time Clay swallowed or attempted to swallow. Davis nodded at the request and left the quarters.

Trent stood up and hung the bag of fluids on the absconded I.V pole knowing he would have to swap the bags out as it was going to take more than one bag to replenish his body. The I.V pole would also give Clay an added bit of support given that he was so intent on walking to help ease his aching body especially if he became unwilling to accept help or it began to overwhelm him again. “All done.” Trent effectively gave the green light for him to get up and move if he still wanted too.

Clay let the bottle of water drop down onto the bed then pushed himself to his feet without letting go of Brock’s hand who quickly rose to his own feet and took up a supportive position next to him as his other hand took hold of the I.V pole that Trent moved closer. Clay paused at how shaky his legs felt and the deep ache that caused his body to spasm, crack and pop. With a soft sigh, Clay took his first shaky step then the next as he tried to ignore the pain and discomfort that rose within him as his brothers watched on worried.

Jason stepped forward and stood a few feet in front of Clay knowing that despite how determined he was that he was not going to make it more than a few steps even with the support of Brock and the I.V pole. There was a relief within him that their youngest member was not as disorientated and skittish as he had been before he had fallen asleep but he was aware that it did not mean that all was well and back to normal.

**SEAL TEAM**

Clay was stretched out yet curled up in a chair with the thick blanket tossed over his lap as the fire roared a few feet away from him with Cerb resting at his feet providing a comforting warmth that had him even more relaxed even though he was not sure it was possible. He’d found his way over to the fire pit after he had finally dragged himself out of the tub that had been refilled three times and gotten dressed after having trimmed his hair seeing the Davis had already set everything up but none of the team were there yet. The Epsom salt had helped to ease some of the residual ache that still lingered but he knew that he was still in for a few uncomfortable days ahead at the very least although he did feel better, cleaner, and for that he was grateful. With that thought he turned his thoughts to his ordeal, to his aversion to being touched, and knew that while there was still a way to go that he would get through it because he already did not feel the overwhelming panic that he had felt in the days prior and because he had the most supportive makeshift family that he could have only ever imagined having when he was a kid. Clay snuggled down further into the chair and pulled the blanket a little higher so that it was up to his ribs as he shifted so that he was leant more on his side and facing the fire.

Davis smiled as she returned to the fire pit and found Clay already settled down in front of it. She put the case of beer down on top of the picnic table before she made her way over to Clay knowing that Bravo were not that far away from joining them if they did not turn the entire camp upside down looking for him first. “I thought you would still be in the tub soaking.” Davis smiled and kept her voice soft as she took the seat beside him and held out a bottle of blackcurrant juice to him after giving Cerb one of his treats, surprised at how childlike he looked all snuggled up under the blanket beside the fire. He looked a lot better despite how exhausted he still looked and that was a relief in itself for her.

Clay forced his eyes open wider and turned his head towards Davis as he snaked his hand out from under the blanket and took the bottle from her knowing she would keep holding it out to him until he did. “Thank you.” His voice was still hoarse but his throat wasn’t as sore as it had been when he had woken up. He was thanking her for more than just the juice as she knew it. “It’s going to be okay.” He wasn’t sure who he was reassuring more.

“Yes, it is.” Davis smiled as she settled back into the chair next to him letting the silence settle between them.

**SEAL TEAM**

Blackburn stood in front of Jason and his men with the exception of Clay and waited for them to settle down but the longer they waited the antsier they got. “How is he?” Blackburn asked the question once more having already confirmed the conversation would be off the record as he moved his gaze from man to man.

“He’s sore but he will be fine.” Jason answered giving next to no information as he looked towards the door once more getting impatient at not being able to go to retrieve Clay and spend the night by the fire.

“That’s not what I was asking Jason.” Blackburn knew that Jason was being purposefully evasive and he understood that he was doing it to be protective of Bravo Six but it still infuriated him.

“We left him soaking in the tub.” Jason was standing his ground as his men watched on wondering who would give in first.

Blackburn sighed and scrubbed a hand over his beard before he stepped to the side knowing that he was not going to get any more information out of any of Bravo just yet. Bravo didn’t wait as they all bolted for the door showing less restraint than he had ever seen but he knew they were all concerned just as he was.

**SEAL TEAM**

Davis raised her finger to her lips in a shushing motion as the men of Bravo neared the fire pit effectively making them go into stealth mode as they quietened down and made sure that they kept their steps as light as possible. She glanced over at Clay again seeing that he was still sleeping as the men settled down in the chairs around them.

“How long has Sleeping Beauty been out?” Sonny asked as he tipped his cowboy hat backwards after Ray handed him a bottle of beer while his eyes roamed over the blonde who was curled up knowing his brothers were completing a visual inspection as well.

“Not long.” Davis answered with a reassuring smile. “He was all tucked up when I returned with the beer. I got him to drink half a bottle of blackcurrant juice as well.” She answered their unasked questions before she saw Clay tense and then relax as he shifted and opened his eyes as he woke up.

Clay untucked his right hand from where it was curled into his chest underneath the blanket and bought it up to rub his eyes before he saw Davis smiling at him and then he realised that the rest of the team had joined them with the exception of Blackburn and Mandy. “What’s going on?” He asked softly as he rolled his head to the side and glanced around at his team.

“How are you feeling kid?” Jason asked concerned by how pale he still was even bathed in the warm orange glow of the fire and how little he seemed to want to move but if the kid had finally found a comfortable position then he was not about to make him move until he really needed too.

Clay turned his attention towards his boss seeing the concern in his eyes and hearing it in his voice. The question seemed hard to answer because he did feel better but the soreness and some of the fear still remained, and then there was the embarrassment that he did not even want to think about that came from the flinching and the panic he had experienced despite knowing he was safe with each and every one of them. On top of that there was also how cautious they were being around him as they kept their voices soft and their movements purposefully slow, and while he wanted to be mad for how they were being he couldn’t because it was a saving grace, and he knew that if it was the other way around then he would act just the same for whoever needed him to do so.

Jason glanced over at Trent before his eyes landed back on the blonde haired blue eyed young man in front of him who still had not answered his question but appeared to be lost in his thoughts instead and he had no idea whether it was a good or a bad thing. Trent stood up and made his way round to Clay’s side and knelt down, positioning himself in the gap between Clay and Davis’ chairs and making sure that he did not disturb Cerb who was unmovable from his side when the silence lingered for more than two mikes.

“Clay, hey. Tell me where you are.” Trent demanded although his voice was unusually soft compared to his usual demanding tone as the last thing he wanted to do was startle him when he looked so content. Davis reached out and put her hand on his shoulder seeing the internal struggle he was having with not reaching out and touching Clay to bring him back to the immediate conversation. Trent reached his hand up and gave her hand a light squeeze as a soft shy smile made its way to Clay’s lips.

“Sorry… just thinking… I feel better but still not where I want to be.” Clay gave them an embarrassed shrug of his shoulder as he answered realising he had been in his head for longer than he had realised. He did not miss the looks of relief that were shared. “Thank you… know it hasn’t been easy.” He added on not because he felt that he had too but because he wanted too.

“We’re here kid, not getting rid of us either.” Jason was relieved to hear Clay talk, and somewhat amused by the embarrassed seal in front of him who looked years younger than he was.

“I know… I am going to be okay.” Clay’s reply had them chuckling before they nodded solemnly at the second part which made his smile grow. He was relieved to be home, even if it was on a Navy base miles from their actual home, and surrounded by those that he loved and that loved him. He knew that there was still work to do within himself but he had no doubt that he would have support every step of the way and that it would probably be overbearing at times but it would be worth it because all of it was worth it.

“Yeah you are.” Jason agreed as he tipped his beer towards him knowing that the heart that Clay Spenser possessed would be the very thing that saved him. The others followed suit tipping their bottles towards him and nodding in agreement as they settled in for a quiet night around the fire watching over their little brother just as they always would.


	2. Arachnophobia - Sonny Quinn

**_ Arachnophobia – Sonny Quinn _ **

Sonny was unsuccessful at hiding his cringes and grimaces as he made his way through the tunnel with the rest of Bravo as they made their way to EXFIL slowly. They had been on an information gathering mission which had been successful as they had what they needed and would await further instructions but for now Sonny was just glad to be getting out of these tunnels that were home to every goddamn spider imaginable. He’d lost count of how many spiders he had seen since they had first descended into the darkened tunnel and he felt as if his skin was constantly crawling, silently he admitted to himself that he was bugging out over it while his brothers found constant amusement in it especially when they could make the Texan just about jump out of his skin by brushing anything they could find over a piece of his exposed skin, and the longer they were in the tunnels the worse his uneasiness got.

Sonny jumped about a foot back and just about knocked Clay backwards as Ray disturbed yet another spider’s nest with his booted foot and sent the creepy crawly creatures scattering every which way along the ground in front of him and up the walls that surrounded them. “Dammit Ray! Watch where you’re steppin’ would ya’!” The Texan drawled with a sharp growl as more snickers echoed around the walls of the tunnels from his brothers who would finding his fear amusing just as they always did.

“Sorry brother.” Ray apologised as it was unintentional and he could see how on edge the man was although it was said with a jovial tone. He had worked with Sonny for a number of years and had almost never seen the man so on edge simply due to his fear of spiders; he had seen him on edge a number of times over the years but for nothing as simple as this as he usually was a lot more stoic.

“Easy Sonny… We’re almost out of here.” Clay murmured quietly as he reached his hand out and rested it on Sonny’s shoulder once he had regained his own balance, taking the opportunity to squeeze it a few times in silent reassurance knowing that they were over half way to their EXFIL. He could see that his brother’s nerves were frayed and could feel how tense he was, and wondered if there was more than he was letting on.

Sonny inhaled deeply before he slowly exhaled as he internally berated himself for letting his fear of spiders get the better of him but there was just so many in this confined tunnel and they did not need to be disturbed if at all possible. Sonny had never wanted a shower as much as he did in that moment or to burn every single item of clothing that he had on for fear of being infested by any spider’s eggs that had ended up on his clothing. Sonny grimaced yet again as he looked down at the spiders that were crawling around on the ground in front of him and resisted the urge to squish as many of them as he could with his heavy boots.

“Lets keep moving brother.” Clay quietly suggested sensing the hesitation within him to make the rest of the walk out of the tunnel and foremost over the spider’s path. “Sooner we move, the sooner we get out of here and back home.” He tried to make Sonny realise that staying idle was not an option or a solution especially given they only had one EXFIL option and this was it without saying it explicitly. He had learned a long time ago that it was easier to make the Texan see reason and get him to do it on his own than force him to do the very thing that he needed to do.

“Yeah.” Sonny grumbled feeling Clay squeeze his shoulder again before he pushed forward knowing that the quicker he moved then the quicker he would be free and away from the hundreds if not thousands of spiders that were housed within the confines of this old derelict tunnel.

Clay was relieved that Sonny was moving again on his own two feet but he made no effort to remove his hand from the Texan’s shoulder as they moved through the tunnel following after their teammates, nor was the contact shaken off although he did feel every single time the man tensed as another spider crossed their path or he spotted one near them.

**SEAL TEAM**

Sonny had scrubbed himself twice over and then once more as he could not be cautious enough as he made sure every last speck of dirt and dust was off of him as well as any remnants that may have been left from a spider as it had crawled over his skin and there had been many that had before he finally made his way out of the showers and got dressed warmly especially after spending an extended amount of time in the cold and damp tunnel. He was the last one out of the showers and to return to their quarters but when he walked in the only other person in the room was Clay who was laid on top of his bunk on his side with his eyes half closed and his hands curled up under his head but clearly still awake. Sonny knew that the kid hadn’t slept all that well in the days and nights leading up to them heading out on their information gathering mission and was exhausted especially as he had only racked out for a few minutes here and there whilst on the mission despite being told to take a few hours as the others watched on. Yet as exhausted as he was he was still at Sonny’s side being as supportive as he could while deciphering the type of support that he would and would not accept.

“Feel better?” Clay asked without moving from his comfortable position on top of his bunk with the blanket draped and twisted around his legs as he undertook a visual assessment of the stoic Texan who had been jumpier than he had ever seen him.

Sonny looked up at Clay before he let out a sigh and pulled his cowboy hat on as he took a seat on the only chair in their cramped quarters. “Yeah pretty boy.” He answered rather dismissively as he relaxed down into the chair and put his feet up on the edge of the table.

“Why do you hate spiders Sonny?” Clay knew that broaching the subject could go one of two ways but he figured he had to ask so that he could try and understand what went through his brother’s head when they encountered them especially in the large quantities that they had within this tunnel; although he made sure to use the word ‘hate’ instead of ‘fear’ as he was sure his brother would not take kindly to the implication of the word. Sure it could be amusing and entertaining at times but not when it took the steadfast Texan off his game and made him jumpier than he had ever seen him before.

Sonny glanced up at the kid again as he decided the motive behind the question but all he could see was sincerity and concern in his eyes. Sonny wanted to play it off but he was too exhausted and his nerves were too shot to do anything of the sort. “Don’t really remember when I really started to hate them but getting tortured as a kid with them ain’t too helpful.” He paused as he pulled his hat over his eyes hating how his own words made him sound but he really could not recall the exact moment he realised he hated them, to him it was something that he had always dealt with. “Can handle one or two of them but there were way too many down in that tunnel.” A shiver ran up his spine as he recalled all of the nests and how many different types of spiders there had been crawling around and over them as they laid waiting and watching.

“We all hate things Sonny, no shame in it.” Clay stated plainly as if it was the simplest thing in the world, and to him it was because they all had things that they hated and feared even as Seals. Clay saw Sonny raise his hand and pull his hat from his head and look up at him with a discernible look that said more than words could say.

“Thanks. Now get some sleep.” Sonny shoved a toothpick in between his teeth grateful that Clay did not push for more answers or ask any more questions. He knew he would still need a few more hours to settle before he could even think about sleeping but for now he was content to sit where he was in the near silence of their home away from home and let his nerves settle.


	3. Coulrophobia – Lisa Davis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEAL TEAM WEEK has been AMAZING!!! I have loved reading all of the works that everyone has taken the time to create. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read and commented. Love it!

**_ Coulrophobia – Lisa Davis _ **

The bright colours, the familiar smells of popcorn and cotton candy, and the comforting sounds of children laughing bought a smile to everyone’s faces as they made their way into the carnival grounds even though they were thousands of miles from the comforting familiarity that was home on a rear day off. How they found out about and decided to go to the local carnival on one of their rare days off was beyond her comprehension considering that a bunch of United States Navy Seals were wondering about with a childlike excitement that she hadn’t seen in a long time from any of them. Lisa had resisted going to the carnival vehemently but none of the men would take no for an answer, no one more so than Sonny who simply ignored her protests and resistant as he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her all the way to the car and then from the car to the carnival grounds without a single ounce of remorse.

“Sonny, would you put me down?!” Lisa requested loudly once more as she tried to twist out of his firm hold once more catching several snickers and grins from the rest of the team who were following behind as others from the crowds glanced at the commotion before they returned to what they had been doing. “I’m here against my will but I’m not stupid enough to try to escape and have you come after me!” She added on sending a glare towards Blackburn who did not have the decency to at least try and hide his amusement at the situation she found herself in, after all he had been the one who had ordered everyone to load up which Sonny had taken quite literally to mean carry her. The carnival really was the last place she wanted to be on her seldom day off but here she was.

Sonny stopped abruptly and had her back down on her feet within seconds as he held onto her as the blood rushed back through her body. “Well hold up there just a minute Davis… no one is holding you against your will… We’re at a carnival to have some fun.” He said before he reached up and bopped her nose with his finger making her want to kick him but she refrained from doing so despite how much she wanted too. Sonny had never seen Lisa resist something as much as she had resisted their trip to the carnival, and he had no idea why but he figured he would find out soon enough.

“Yeah come on Lisa. How can you hate the carnival?” Mandy held her arms out and swirled around uninhibited as she let her hair down knowing that they all needed some mindless fun and a break from the heaviness that was their job.

“I don’t hate the carnival, I just hate…” Lisa bit down on her tongue as she stopped herself from finishing her sentence knowing if she did then she would never hear the end of it from the men around her as she ran her hand through her hair. She looked at Sonny who had cocked his head to the side which almost mimicked Cerberus’ head tilt before she looked away knowing those soulful eyes of his would have her spilling what it was that she hated about carnivals.

“Hate what?” Ray had seen Lisa flustered before but not like she was, and he was quickly realising that maybe it had not been a good idea to force her into coming with them as he stepped closer to her but maintained his distance as she looked like she was becoming stressed which was not a look that was seen on her often, if ever. A quick glance at Sonny showed his remorse rising as the rest of the men watched on in wait to see what she would do next as she already looked like a caged animal.

“Nothing… nothing… I need ice cream and cotton candy immediately.” Lisa shifted from side to side on her feet as she tried to shift the attention away from herself before she glanced around the area and blanched as her fear materialised several feet away from her.

“Lisa?” Jason had seen how she paled and how her breathing became shallow as she stood straight as if a rod had been placed up her spine. Her eyes darted towards him as she shook her head hoping he would let it go but none of them were going to before her eyes once again flickered in the direction of where she had been looking when she had become rigid.

“Oh!” Clay realised what was going on before anyone else did as he followed her gaze. He couldn’t help the childish grin that made its way to his lips before he schooled his face seeing that everyone was on edge as they had not figured it out but he also did not want her to feel terrified or embarrassed at something that was beyond her control either. He also realised why she had been so against joining them but now he understood.

“Oh what?” Sonny felt like shit because whatever was going on was something he had not figured out but he hated watching the panic that was rising within Lisa as she curled her hands into fists and dug her nails into the palms of her hands in what he was sure was painful. He glanced at Clay at his exclamation which did not prove insightful before he focused back on Lisa whose fight or flight reflexes looked to be kicking in.

“It’s the clowns.” Clay spoke cautiously and kept his voice soft as he nodded towards the two clowns that were making balloon animals for a group of excited children as the parents watched on as he stepped forward into Lisa’s line of sight seeing the Sonny had turned his attention towards the clowns to glare and growl at them for inadvertently upsetting Lisa. If there was one thing to describe Sonny when it came to Lisa it was protective. Clay also knew that everyone had instinctually glanced over towards the clowns before turning their attention back to Lisa.

“Really?” Ray could not keep the surprise from his voice; surprise that Clay had worked it out before anyone else and surprise that Lisa had a fear of clowns.

Lisa wanted for the ground to open up and swallow her whole, or for the petting zoo animals to get loose and run wild so that everyone’s attention would not be on her as she felt her cheeks flush as the blush rose on them. She really did not want to ruin their day of fun but she couldn’t control her reaction despite how much she wanted too especially as it was a ridiculous fear to have but she had been scared of them ever since she was little and apparently it did not matter how old she was, it was one fear she could not get rid of but she really did not want anyone to know about it either. Now she stood in front of Navy Seals, a Commander, and a CIA analyst in the middle of the carnival grounds deeply embarrassed. Just great, she thought with a frown.

“I say we get you as much ice cream and cotton candy as you can handle, and then lets find where to get a balloon or two from.” Mandy was surprised at the revelation but knew that they could not stand still all day, and there were not many other things to do in the near vicinity. Mandy was also trying to catch Sonny’s attention but saw Clay give him a sharp elbow to his ribs to draw his attention back to them and away from the clowns that he looked like he was trying to kill with his gaze alone.

“Balloons? Really?” Jason questioned her. It seemed like the day was going to be full of surprises given that they had learned that Lisa had a fear of clowns, and then there was how relaxed and childlike Mandy was acting as she almost demanded that she get a balloon.

“Yes Jason, I want a balloon.” Mandy crossed her arms over his chest much like a petulant child that was not getting her own way as she retorted sharply ignoring the smirks on the guys faces. She had always loved balloons since she was a little girl and could recall every time she had gone to a fair or a carnival how she would get a balloon and would have it tied around her wrist so that she did not lose it, and this carnival would be no exception.

“Now that sounds like a plan then you and I can hit the ferris wheel. Keep those clowns away from you.” Sonny stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Lisa’s shoulder then pulled her in close to his side knowing he was not about to leave her alone not when it was his fault that she was in the position of having to face her fear of clowns even though it had been done inadvertently.

“Okay, so Sonny and Lisa are going in search of ice cream and cotton candy and then to the ferris wheel. Mandy and I will go to find her a balloon. I say we meet back here at 3 then head into town for food and drinks.” Jason knew that gave each of them at least three hours to relax and unwind with some fun at the carnival before continuing on to explore the local cuisine and nightlife. Everyone would either pair up or split off to do their own thing as everyone nodded in recognition.

**SEAL TEAM**

Sonny helped Lisa step off of the platform from the ferris wheel after they had been stationary at the top for a while just taking in the scenery and spotting their team members in a relative familiar and comforting silence but he could feel how tense she still was and could see the way her eyes were glancing around for any signs of clowns constantly. “Where to next Miss Davis?” He asked as she immediately tucked herself into his side with her arm going around his lower back as his arm found its way to her shoulders again.

“You don’t have to be my bodyguard Sonny.” Lisa replied immediately even though her actions said differently as she relaxed in his presence and all but melted into his side.

“Who else is going to keep me in line?” Sonny immediately replied with a wry smile, as he saw her smile and shake her head softly before she glanced up at him with that all knowing look of hers that told him she knew exactly what he was doing or at least attempting to do but she was not going to call him out on it.

“Thank you. I’m sure you’d rather be with the rest of the guys beating them at whatever shooting game they have found and are now competing at.” Lisa could imagine the guys standing lined up and having a fierce competition to see who could win the game and claim the title of best shooter. It would be full of ribbing and jabs as they all tried to win. “So how about we go find them so you can beat them? Have you very own mad minute at the carnival?” She knew that he was trying to keep her mind occupied but she was content to be surrounded by those she loved in Bravo and watching the grown men act like children as they fought for the title over a carnival game.

“Never mind being with you Davis’…” Sonny grinned at her as he tipped his cap towards her before his grin turned into a boyish rogue smirk. “But I don’t mind claiming my title either so I say let’s go and find them.” She laughed as they changed direction and headed for where they had last seen the rest of the men, complete with Mandy who had a balloon tied to her wrist, from the relative safety of the ferris wheel to enjoy the rest of their day off even with the chances of sighting a clown or two.


	4. Autophobia – Ray Perry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I love to read them!
> 
> This series was simply a way to dabble into the Fandom after I took a break from writing all together. And now, well, now I have so many one shots that I have edited and am in the process of editing. And by the end of the month I have set myself a goal to reach 500,000, yes 500,000 words which I am so very close too. I cannot wait to share the next collection or two that I am getting ready to share with you all. So thank you for inspiring me to continue.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this small one shot! I would love to hear what you think :)

**_ Autophobia – Ray Perry _ **

Being alone was not a concept that Ray Perry could understand, he could not understand how a person would willingly be alone, would willingly segregate themselves from everyone and anyone, or how they could deal with the silence that came with being alone, or the loneliness that surely came with being alone after a prolonged length of time.

Ray has a fear of being alone, of not having his brothers at his side, of not having his family to come home to, to hold onto.

There were plenty of times when he had been alone but those were short periods, short reprieves, and he knew that there was always someone close by whether it was in person or on the other end of the phone if being alone became too much for him. It was unfathomable to Ray that some people never knew of the bond between brothers, or the feeling of having a family

Fear is a powerful motivator especially when the thing you fear the most is being alone but fear is also incredibly dangerous when you fear being alone because you will do anything to bring those you love, those that you are the closest too, home safe. For Ray who was also rational and nearly always level headed, his fear of being alone often left him conflicted between what needed to be done, what should be done, and what protocol dictated.

Ray could watch Naima and their two beautiful children all day, could be with them all of the time, but then he would not be with his Bravo brothers and if he was not with them then he could not make sure that they all came home so that none of them were alone. Every time he left whether it was for a deployment or a short spin up there was always a familiar fear that would settle in the deepest and darkest part of his heart that he would come home and be alone, that Naima and the kids would be gone, and each time he comes home to them the fear evaporates as a light, a ray of joy, settles in its place because he knows he is not alone and will not be.

And then there are his brothers, his crazy pain in the ass brothers, but he cannot imagine what his life would be like without any of them because despite the hell that they go through to keep their country safe and themselves they are always there not just for him but for his family too.

Jason Hayes could be described as many things by Ray alone – adaptable which was necessary in their line of work, exuberant at times, frank with no filter, persistent to the point to stubbornness, domineering at times, obsessive, and surly at times – but through thick and thin he was always there.

Sonny Quinn tried his hardest to be a brick wall and they butted heads more times than Ray cared to admit but he was always dependable and there was something calming about the Texan drawl that Ray had come to rely on. Sonny, like Jason, was many things – courageous when faced with even the scariest of situations, frank beyond rudeness, sincere towards those he cared about, cantankerous that tested him to his limits sometimes, highly cynical but that was sometimes valuable in their job, and he could be vulgar at times – but beneath the walls that Sonny kept erected there was a soft and caring side that was valued.

Clay Spenser, the kid, had a special place in Ray’s heart and it was not just because he had been his choice to join Bravo in selections from Green Team. There was something special about the blue eyed blonde that Ray could not specifically identify but he was damn sure that the kid was stronger than them all given all that had been thrown at him in his short life. Ray saw Spenser’s potential to be a Master Chief one day himself. Clay was more amiable then most Seals, compassionate to everyone who deserved it, and arrogant although Ray was sure it was a shield more than anything else. Ray would be tested by Clay, pushed, but at the end of the day he was a brother.

Brock Reynolds and Cerb were a package deal that saved his and the rest of their lives more times than he cared to count or think about just by all of the training and explosives detecting that they had done. Brock was quiet and observant but he was reliable and damned good at what he did.

Trent Sawyer was another quiet brother who was often more reserved than they realised but he was damn good at his job and one hell of a medic who had kept him alive, stopped him from bleeding out, until they got back to wherever they were stationed whether it was the plane or a foreign base. Ray could always look over at Trent who radiated calmness even in the most dire of situations and know that there was no doubt. The man knew what to say even when he said nothing.

Eric Blackburn could be a hard ass and a teddy bear, an enigma of sorts but Ray knew that his intentions were always in the best interests of those on Bravo even if they did not seem that way in the heat of the moment. He took more shit than anyone else in his position would have, and it was always because of Bravo but he did it because he knew what they did was for the better even if it had backfired on them. Ray’s respect for Eric could never be questioned or damaged because of the history that they had.

And then there was Lisa Davis and Mandy Ellis, two women who were a force to be reckoned with all on their own even without Bravo. Strong, courageous, stubborn, smart with beautiful souls and, caring and compassionate hearts were just a few of the ways to describe the two women who went to hell and back with them and for them, and who would risk their careers for them.

Ray’s fear of being alone would never materialise because he had his wife, his two children, and Bravo that included Blackburn, Lisa and Mandy; and even if something changed then they would never be that far away.


	5. Trypanophobia – Brock Reynolds

**_ Trypanophobia – Brock Reynolds _ **

Brock had been doing everything he could to avoid going to the infirmary to get the updated tetanus shot that he along with everyone else on Bravo was required to get after their last mission had them wading in some pretty disgusting and deplorable conditions. He had never made himself as busy as he had in the previous day or so with reviewing footage, making sure every piece of his and Cerberus’ gear was thoroughly cleaned and stowed properly, and making sure that Cerberus was well taken care of especially with all of the extra training that he had been going through in order to keep busy. He knew all of his teammates had gotten the injection and that he was the last one but he just could not bring himself to even make an attempt to head towards the infirmary and instead set his mind to beating his personal best as he lifted weights while Cerberus laid out enjoying the heat of the sun on the ping pong table.

**SEAL TEAM**

Blackburn made his way over to Jason, Ray and Trent who were all sitting down cleaning their weapons while Sonny and Clay were playfully sparring just a few feet away from them; he knew that they were becoming restless as he was sure that every weapon had been cleaned thoroughly at least twice since they had returned from their last mission but he had a job that he knew would keep them occupied for a while at least.

“What’s that look for Eric?” Jason asked without even glancing up as Blackburn finally reached them but the tone of his voice made the rest of the men stop what they were doing and give him their full attention or close enough.

“Where’s Brock?” Blackburn asked making Jason finally stop and look up with a questioning expression on his face.

“Working out.” Jason answered with a nod towards the weight bench where Brock was with Cerberus almost clear across the compound and well out of earshot of the conversation that was taking place.

“I got a call from the doc.” Blackburn did not even need to say anymore for everyone on Bravo to figure out where he was heading with that conversation starter.

“I’m guessing they haven’t seen him for his required booster shot.” Trent couldn’t keep the smirk off of his face as he took the words right out of Blackburn’s mouth as he knew his brother all too well, or rather knew his aversion to injections due to his fear of needles although Brock did not make a secret of it either which was beneficial.

“Correct.” Blackburn answered before he turned his attention back to Jason. “I take it that you will see that he does.” Blackburn pinned him with a glare that he knew meant it was to be dealt with immediately not when he was ready to deal with it.

“It will be.” Jason answered, satisfying Blackburn enough to take his leave, leaving Bravo to deal with getting Brock to the infirmary and close enough to a doctor to give him the injection that he had to have.

“I knew we should have taken him there as soon as we were ordered to get an updated tetanus shot. Got his done when one of us got ours done.” Ray stated silently berating himself for not checking in to make sure that Brock had made his way over to the infirmary before now especially knowing how the younger man was when it came to injections and needles.

“The asinine thing is he has spent this entire time working himself up over it and it will take a few minutes then it will all be over.” Jason was berating himself also for not making sure his entire team had visited the infirmary to follow through on the order to get themselves updated but he could not be mad at Brock because he knew how hard it was on him. He was upset that he had failed to notice Brock’s unusual behaviour nor had he picked up on his distress especially given he should have recalled his hatred for anything that required a needle.

“Looks like we’re taking a trip to the ole infirmary to get Brock a wee injection then.” Sonny drawled knowing that every one of them would be going as they should have done in the first place because that was what Bravo did – stick together and support each other even when it became overbearing.

“How about I head over to the infirmary and see if the doctor will give me the injection to administer rather than trying to get him over there and a doctor near him?” Trent knew it would be somewhat easier on Brock and on the rest of them because they were always plagued with guilt every time he had to have an injection of some sort and they became overprotective given the reaction it elicited from their quietest brother. At least they could shepherd him into their bunk room easier with Cerberus at his side then they could get him over and into the infirmary with Cerb but that would only happen if the doctor agreed.

“Try to do that.” Jason nodded as he answered more forcefully than he had meant too but no one would take offense. Trent nodded and departed knowing the sooner he went the sooner they would have the answer and be able to make a plan whether his worked out or not. “Next time we make sure he gets his first.” Jason looked around at the remaining men who all nodded on affirmation and understanding as they had all let the ball drop so to say.

**SEAL TEAM**

Brock knew as soon as he saw his team heading towards him and Cerb that they knew he had not reported as ordered to the infirmary, and that he was not going to avoid it any longer even though he knew that he would not be able to already. With a resigned to his fate sigh he pushed himself up to his feet and looked over to Cerb who was already making his way down off of the table and over to his side before he brushed a hand through his unruly curls just as his team reached him. He felt Cerb nudge his other hand with his wet nose, and he instantly raised his hand up to scratch between the furry sun warmed ears of Cerb’s.

“Brock…” Jason could already see the resigned look on Brock’s face that was also shielding the fear that he felt as he knew what this little team gathering was about without even having to be told.

Brock shook his head and paced ten steps one way and then ten steps back, repeating his actions four times, before he stopped back on his original spot and turned around so that his back was to his team as he tried to control the rising fear that he felt within himself as he took a few deep breaths. Cerberus whined softly as he laid down with his heads rested on his front paws as he watched his handler closely sensing his distress but remaining as still as possible. The remaining men of Bravo looked at each other knowing that Brock had indeed been stressing himself out over it ever since they had been given the order to report to the infirmary, and clearly it had left him an agitated and nervous wreck. The silent glances spoke volumes as each man felt their own guilt rise at Brock’s distress which was shared with each other.

“We need to get you to the infirmary brother.” Ray kept his voice calm and low as he spoke after waiting a few moments once Brock had finished pacing.

“I know.” Brock sounded dejected as he turned around and once again brushed a hand through his hair, slightly tugging at the curls. “It’s just…” He trailed off hating that he couldn’t even say the words as he looked down at the ground, the sand seemed mighty interesting right now rather than looking at his brothers. “Sorry boss.” He added on without looking up.

“We’ll be right with you Brock.” Clay reassured him even though Brock already knew that he would not be alone until he had visited the infirmary and received the injection, and even after he would not be left alone until they were sure he was alright because that was the team that they were.

“I’m sorry too. We should have gone and got them as a team rather than have trickled over as we wished.” Jason was quick to shut down Brock’s apology knowing that there was nothing to apologise for, especially not when he had already worked himself up into such a state and was clearly punishing himself already. “We just need to make our way over there now and get it sorted.” He kept his tone neutral knowing that a vehicle to transport them over to the infirmary had already been arranged and was waiting for them.

“Can’t you just do it Trent?” Brock glanced up and over at his brother with pleading eyes before he returned his gaze to the sand at his feet. At least with Trent injecting him, he knew of his hatred, of his fear, and he would get it done as quickly as he could without even letting him see the needle that had to puncture his skin to deliver the booster shot.

Trent hated that he had to be the one that had to say no to his brother. “Doc won’t give me what we need Brock. That was our first plan.” He told him truthfully knowing that Brock preferred him over any other medical personnel if it could be arranged. He had spent almost an hour with the doctor trying to negotiate letting him be the one to give Brock the tetanus shot but the doctor was not willing to negotiate because Brock had not appeared on his own forcing Blackburn to be notified.

Brock nodded knowing that Trent would have done everything except steal the injection he needed from the infirmary to try and convince the medical team to let him be the one to do it. “Because I didn’t report there before now?” He asked already suspecting the answer.

“Doc is just being fastidious.” Ray could see that Brock was already internally reprimanding himself for his actions, or rather inaction and that it would not help as he did not need to work himself up anymore than he already had.

“Lets get this taken care of now then it will be done and dusted.” Sonny shrugged before he clicked his fingers at Cerb ordering him into the awaiting truck that was nearby. Cerb hesitated to leave Brock’s side because of the waves of anxiety that were coming off of him but followed through eventually almost begrudgingly.

Brock slowly followed after Cerb and got into the truck with his brothers following after him. Ray got into the driver’s seat while Trent hopped in the front and Jason got into the back with him while Sonny and Clay climbed into the bed of the truck for the short drive there and back to the infirmary. Cerb immediately snuggled into Brock’s side as Brock kept his focus on the passing world that was their home away from home as he looked out the window at their base for this deployment feeling the panic build as they got closer. The drive felt far too short for Brock’s liking especially when they finally came to a stop right outside the doors of the large and foreboding building with the bright red cross on it.

Brock felt as Jason placed his hand on his shoulder as soon as he got out of the truck while the rest of his brothers surrounded him and Cerb stood at attention at his side. “In and out brother.” Trent murmured lowly, the double meaning did not go by unmissed – in and out in regards to his breathing, and in and out as it would be a short trip into and out of the infirmary as the injection would take next to no time. Jason gave Brock a gentle push forward knowing the man would not move until he was made to do so but he would not run either especially now that they were here. Trent waited until Brock gave a solemn nod towards them before he took the lead and walked into the infirmary knowing that his brothers were following close behind having surrounded Brock and Cerb.

The last thing that any of them expected was to be told to have a seat and wait until the doctor was ready to see Brock as the doctor was otherwise engaged, and this was the last thing that Brock’s already frayed nerves needed. Jason steered Brock towards the aptly placed chairs and only let go of his shoulder once he was sat down with Trent and Clay taking the seats on either side of him as Cerb jumped up into his lap, and Jason, Ray and Sonny sat opposite them. Brock could not keep still as he bounced his legs up and down minutely, repeatedly ran his hands through Cerb’s coat and twisted his body around as much as he could whilst remaining seated in the chair. Each minute felt like an hour and every tick of the clock became increasingly louder. Brock raised his hand to the collar of his shirt and pulled at it in an effort to relieve how tight it had begun to feel around his neck as the sweat began to pool at the base of his neck.

Trent had noted Brock’s increasing distress and glanced at Jason silently asking him to see if he could get the doctor to hurry along, hell they didn’t even need a doctor to give him the tetanus injection after all a corpsman, nurse or even himself could do it. Jason nodded, stood up, and made his way over to the duty nurse; he was glad that the conversation would take place away from listening ears and out of ear shot of his team because he was going to lose his temper if nothing was hurried along.

Brock could not take waiting any longer and within seconds he had gently pushed Cerb off of his lap and rose to his feet causing the dog to be on guard even as he quietly ordered him to stay. He managed to evade his brother’s hands as they reached out to him as he quickly stumbled his way out of the clinic with the brightness of the sun making him squint his eyes, stopping as his legs trembled and he fell down onto the hot sand heaving as he fought to get air into his burning lungs.

Trent knew that the waiting had become too much as he was the only one that did not try to reach for Brock as he made his escape which had caught everyone’s attention, even Jason had turned away from the nurse’s desk and sent a glance towards him which he only shook his head in response too. Trent was not in the mood to prolong Brock’s suffering any further but then again he knew that none of his brothers were either. “Give him a few minutes to collect himself.” Trent knew that surrounding Brock would do no good and that he would need to take a few minutes to gather himself.

“He ain’t getting away.” Sonny’s growl was mitigated by the concern that was shown by his facial expressions as he stood up to go after Brock.

“He’s not going anywhere. I have the keys and it’s a long walk back in this heat.” Ray dangled the keys to the truck from his finger right in Sonny’s view and making the Texan relax back down into his seat just as Jason returned still wearily eyeing Trent who did not look the least bit perturbed by the fact that Brock had high tailed it out of the infirmary.

“How long before the doctor can see Brock?” Clay asked Jason who looked just as frustrated as he felt for the turmoil that Brock was unintentionally being put through. He reached his hand out to Cerb who immediately pushed himself forward so that he could nudge his hand and get scratched behind his ears. “It’s okay boy.” Clay reassured Cerb who looked as agitated as Brock had been as the dog looked out to where Brock had disappeared too.

“Doctor should be ready to see him in ten minutes.” Jason answered gruffly; the agitation was clearly present in his voice. His agitation was with the whole medical staff and their lack of concern or hurriedness. “How long are we giving him?” The question was directed at Trent who knew how to handle Brock when he got into this state although they all knew how to handle him, it was just that Trent was better at it.

“Another minute then we’ll go and get him.” Trent answered after glancing at the clock on the wall knowing that his brothers would be rather impatient for the minute to go by.

**SEAL TEAM**

Brock had managed to move so that he was sitting on his backside rather than on his knees with his legs drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his legs and his face pressed into his knees as he drew deep breaths. His shoulders were hunched and he could feel the tightness within them with every breath he took, and his chest rattled painfully with each movement. He knew that there was no point in moving nor did he have the energy to do so because he knew that his brothers would not be too far behind him. He hated that he had this fear and that he could not push through it like he could with pain because injections and needles were definitely a part of the job when one was a Seal… unfortunately.

Brock made no attempt to raise his head as he felt his brothers’ presence as they surrounded him. He felt as Cerb nudged him with his nose and let out a soft whine but he made no effort to acknowledge him.

Trent knelt down in the hot sand next to Brock seeing as Clay held Cerb back as the dog became more and more fretful without any acknowledge from his handler. “Brock?” Trent kept his voice low as he placed his hand on his back and could feel how tense he was and how he was struggling to breathe. Trent’s concern grew but he knew that as long as he stayed calm then everybody else would do so too except for Cerb who reacted solely to Brock.

“Doc is ready to see you.” Sonny stated as the nurse waved at them from the door inside the infirmary, silently giving them a two minute warning to which he nodded back in confirmation that he understood. Clay slapped at his arm and sent a quick scowl in his direction before he went back to cajoling Cerb. “What was that for?” Sonny asked with a scowl of his own as he rubbed at the spot figuring he would have a red mark forming beneath the sleeve of his shirt. Before Clay could respond Jason pushed his way in between the two to separate them as the last thing Brock needed was to listen to the two men pettily squabble because he knew like everyone else why Clay had slapped at Sonny’s arm.

“Let’s get you up and out of the sun.” Jason took control knowing that Brock would not resist nor would he move on his own as the toll that had been taken on his body by his own panic had left him exhausted, and he was sure that the heat from the sun would be adding to that toll with the added worry of dehydration. Brock lifted his head up and nodded limply in agreement with Jason’s statement before seeing as Ray came forward and both he and Trent helped lift him up off of the ground and onto his feet.

“We’ve got you brother.” Ray kept his voice low as he reassured Brock while they walked slowly back into the infirmary, not missing how the terrified man tensed even further which he did not think was humanly possible but it was. Ray could see the exhaustion that Brock was not even trying to hide it or any other emotion that he was feeling, and knew that as soon as he had received the tetanus shot that Jason would restrict him to his rack to get some much needed rest, and that they would all stay close until he was back to being his usual quiet relaxed self because that was a part of what Bravo did.

The men and Cerb followed the nurse into the small examination room leaving hardly any space for anyone or anything else. Ray and Trent got Brock sat up on the examination table then Ray stepped back so that the doctor would have room to work while Trent remained unmoved as Jason stepped in front of Brock to act as a barrier and a distraction. Sonny lifted himself up onto the small bench and set about swinging his legs like a young child would while Clay crouched down so that Cerb was sat in between his legs and restrained because Cerb always reacted to Brock’s behaviour who would not react well to the doctor once the needle was bought out.

“Afternoon Special Welfare Operator Reynolds… Bravo.” The doctor only looked up from the paper file in his hand after he almost walked straight into Jason’s side and his eyes immediately widened at an entire Seal Team being in one small examination room. The doctor paused as he straightened up and closed the file in his hand with a frown settling on his face.

“Let’s just get this over with doc. We have waited long enough.” Jason could not hide the disdain in his voice for the doctor and how long he had kept them waiting nor the torture he had inadvertently caused Brock with his delays especially after Trent had explicitly told the doctor of what Brock’s reaction would be in an effort to be the one to do the procedure.

“If you will all give me and Special Welfare…” The doctor began only to be cut off.

“No. Not happening doc.” Sonny shook his head from side to side as he slid off of the counter and to his feet then quickly crossed his arms over his chest almost daring the doctor to argue with him. Ray reached his hand out and placed it in the middle of Sonny’s chest, halting any further movement as no one missed the warning tone that was in his voice.

“We’re not going anywhere doc. There’s space for you to give Brock the injection and then as soon as you have we will be gone.” Jason glared at the doctor who looked to be becoming flustered and could see that he was going to be a potential problem which they did not need especially if he reported them for refusing to leave the room.

Brock swallowed, or tried to swallow, but he felt like he couldn’t as he reached up and pulled at the collar of his shirt once more as it felt restrictive. Jason turned back to Brock and naturally reached out to take hold of his hands so that he would stop pulling at his shirt or react by trying to push the needle away once it got close to his skin, not deterred by how slick with sweat they were.

“Hurry it up doc.” Sonny pulled the toothpick from between his lips and flicked it into the sink before he signalled with his hand for the doctor to get on with giving Brock the injection. He did not miss how Ray applied a little bit more pressure with his hand to his chest but he did not move.

The doctor looked around the staunch men of Bravo and knew that there was no way to get the men out of the room without an escort. With a resigned sigh, the doctor moved around Jason and over to the cabinet to get what was needed to give the booster shot once he sat the file down on the counter top.

Brock could not take his eyes off of the doctor as he watched the doctor plunge the needle into the vial and fill the syringe with the medication even as Jason squeezed his hands tightly trying to get his attention and Trent snapped his fingers in front of him to no avail. Brock’s eyes widened at the length of the needle and he shifted violently as he tried to pull away from Jason and Trent but both men had a bruising hold on him although it went unnoticed at that moment. “’oss.” Brock could barely get the word out as his throat felt as if it had closed up as he began to tremble as the doctor turned around to face him with the needle at the ready. Cerberus barked and growled towards the advancing doctor, bucking wildly against Clay’s hold as Brock’s anxiety increased and no amount of calling him off would settle him especially with Brock unable too.

“Hey Brock, look at me.” Trent commanded, his voice stern as his hand gripped Brock’s chin and turned his head towards him. Brock resisted the hold and pulled his chin out of Trent’s bruising grip so he could scowl at the doctor.

“You will just feel a small pinch.” The doctor’s sweet tone soured Brock’s stomach and no one missed how he paled considerably. Ray knew the possibility was high that Brock would vomit and he quickly searched for and found an emesis basin which was tossed towards Trent who caught it and then held underneath Brock’s chin. Brock startled at the cold application of the alcohol wipe on his upper arm and tried to pull away but with his hands held firmly and Trent right up against his side he had no where to go as he could not knock the doctor over.

“Easy Brock.” Jason felt as Brock’s booted foot connected with his shin and he bit down on the grunt that wanted to escape his lips knowing he would have one hell of a bruise form there before he sent a look towards Ray who understood immediately and stepped forward to place his hand on the back of Brock’s neck while his other hand went to his shoulder and like Jason he ignored how clammy and sweat soaked his skin was. “Hurry it up doc.” Jason growled out an order knowing that Brock was not going to last much longer as he was fighting against his panic as much as he could but his body was winning the battle.

Brock knew what his team were trying to do by using touch to try and ground him but he was too hyper focused on the needle and the hand that held it to relax instead he only became tenser as his stomach revolted. Brock felt the needle pierce his skin just as the meagre contents of his stomach rose; he couldn’t stop the vomit that flowed from his mouth and into the emesis basin that Trent dutifully held for him.

“All done.” The doctor quickly applied a small white bandage over the injection site and stepped back away from the violently ill Seal and his over protective comrades but he also made sure to give Cerberus a wide berth although the dog had calmed down somewhat now that the perceived threat had stepped back as he left the room.

Trent swapped out the full emesis basin for an empty one that Sonny handed him even though Brock had stopped retching. A nurse appeared in the cramped room and graciously handed Trent a fresh bottle of water which he thanked her for before she too left the room seeing that the men had it under control. “Wash your mouth out then take some small sips.” Trent instructed seeing that Brock was beginning to lag as his energy was depleted and his body overworked as both Jason and Ray lightened their grips. Brock washed his mouth out to get rid of the foul taste that he was left with after vomiting but shook his head at the offer of any more water as all he wanted to do was curl up in his bunk under a blanket and go to sleep with Cerb at his side.

“Time to head back.” Ray stated as he looked at Jason who nodded in agreement knowing that the best thing for Brock was to get him away from the infirmary and into his own bunk.

“Beddy-by time for our Brocky Brock.” Sonny sang song seeing his team mates crack faint smiles in amusement as he opened the door to the examination room and held it open so that Clay could walk out first with Cerberus in tow which was not the easiest task to take the hair missile away from his handler.

“That’s right.” Trent agreed with a hint of amusement in his voice knowing that was exactly where Brock was headed and would stay for at least the next eight hours. With ease, he and Ray got Brock to his feet and held him steady as they made their way out of the room with Jason and Sonny following behind.

**SEAL TEAM**

Brock was curled up in the top bunk with a blanket wrapped around his body tightly and Cerb was laid across his body with his head pressed into his neck. Brock had fallen asleep immediately as soon as he was helped up into his bunk which they all knew he would.

Trent absentmindedly put a second pillow along the edge of the bunk knowing how Brock was after he had an injection and that he would eventually shift onto his side with Cerb adapting to the repositioning and would find a way to tuck the pillow into his side before he stepped away to join the rest of the team.

“Is he still asleep?” Clay asked knowing they were all in for the rest of the night to be there for their brother.

“He worked himself up so much that he won’t be waking for the remainder of the night.” Trent shared an equal part of the guilt for letting Brock’s distress go unnoticed that he was sure they were all experiencing as he sat down and wiped his hands over his face. “He’s fine though, just exhausted.” He added knowing that Brock was fine, it was just his body’s reaction to his fear of needles and injections.

“Next time we need any kind of injection or anything that involves a needle, we make sure we take him to the infirmary straight away so that he does not work himself up into such a state that leaves him like this.” Jason knew it went without saying but he wanted to be clear on what would happen next time because he knew that there would be a next time as he looked at each man who were all in agreeance.

“Oh he ain’t getting away even if I have to hogtie and carry him there kicking and screaming.” Sonny groused making a light hearted threat but they all knew he would follow through with it if he had too in order to save Brock’s sanity and their own.

“I’ll talk to Blackburn to see if he can get permission for me to take care of any and all injections that Brock may need.” Trent hoped that Blackburn had enough sway that he could make it happen which would help to ease things on all of them, not just Brock. Jason nodded in agreement knowing that he would be in total agreeance and help convince Blackburn if he needed too but he doubted Blackburn needed any convincing because it would be one less thing for him to worry about.

“It won’t happen again. We won’t let it.” Ray stated with a finality that could not and would not be argued with.

“No, it won’t.” Clay agreed as they clinked their beer bottles together and settled in for the night to stay close to Brock and checking for any signs of distress.


	6. Sedatephobia – Jason Hayes

**_ Sedatephobia – Jason Hayes _ **

Coming home never used to be a struggle for Jason Hayes because he had never come home to the stillness and the silence that he now came home too because his house was empty. The silence was overwhelming especially in the small hours of the night when sleep did not come easily, and the other side of the bed was empty and cold, void of the life he once knew.

Jason wondered if he would ever get used to coming home to the empty silence that greeted him but then he often thought that he never would want to get used to it because that meant a kind of acceptance that he was not ready for and was not sure that he would ever be ready for. A kind of acceptance that meant his home life was now empty and silent, and that he was stuck, that he was alone.

Jason could not begrudge his children for moving on, for becoming adults, just as he could not begrudge his brothers for having lives of their own that were moving forward, but he missed them, missed the sound of his children in the house and the joy that they got from seeing him walk in through the door, and he missed his brothers even though he spent an insane amount of time with them on base or during spin ups and deployments. Most of all he missed the company that he had become so used to relying on even when he did not take advantage of it; it was somewhat surreal to think that all of those mundane things that he took for granted, he now missed as much as he did.

His home was no longer a home, somehow it had been transformed back into nothing more than a house for him to come and go. They say ‘home is where the heart is’ and Jason had never understood that until now because his heart was split in so many ways – with Emma, with Mikey, with Alana, and with his brothers.

The fear of silence, some would say, had always been engrained in Jason because silence never meant that things were good. Jason had been trained by the universe to need some sort of noise constantly. Silence in the battlefield went one of two ways – the enemy no longer stood or the enemy was planning their next move by trying to lull a solider into a false sense of security or lure them out. Silence at home could mean many things but in his experience it meant that someone was up to no good, or trouble, or was struggling with something, especially when it came to the men on his team. So silence was engrained to be feared for Jason, and that was a fear he could never get over.


	7. Atelophobia – Mandy Ellis

**_ Atelophobia – Mandy Ellis _ **

Mandy had a terrible habit of gnawing at her fingernails after she delivered whatever package she needed too in order to get the green light as she continued to analyse every single piece of information that she had and tried to analyse what she did not have. The fear of failure bore down on her shoulders heavily and she knew why, she had been able to figure it out the first time she had even submitted a package to be green lit, and that was because of the high stakes that she placed on and in front of the men who were the best of the best, the elite Seals that the Navy had. But the truth was even the best, even the most elite, could become fallen eagles, and that hurt more than she would ever admit. It left a permanent mark that would never be erased and would never diminish. It could be crippling, the weight that was placed on her and even when the men returned unhurt and the weight lifted, it never went away entirely because she knew that they carried it with them, that it left scars mentally and emotionally if there were no physical ones.

The fear of failure never really subsided for Mandy and she had learned to live with it but that did not mean that there were not times when it threatened to overwhelm her, when it threatened to tear the carefully constructed and well reinforced walls down that she had spent years building.

Maybe, just maybe, the fear of failure had always been present deep inside of Mandy. It had bloomed when she was a young girl and feared failing a test, feared disappointing her parents, feared failing in so many ways that she could not list them all. The fear of failure had resided inside of her for as long as she could remember but she had learned to live with it, had learned how to turn that fear she felt into something positive, into making sure that she did her absolute damn best so that the fear of failure never turned into anything more, never again became ‘I have failed’.

The stakes were too high, had been raised ever since she had begun to work with Bravo and the fear of failing had become her driving force, her guiding light even when it should not have, and pushed her to do her best. She needed to do her upmost to make sure that the men, the Seals, would come back alive because not only did she need them but they needed each other and their families needed them to come back home to them each and every time.

The fear of failure never left Mandy instead it was her constant companion and she learned to live with it even when it became almost unbearable because she knew the pain that came with losing one of the men that she had sent out on a mission and she would do everything she could to make sure that never happened again if she could help it, for herself, for the men of Bravo, and for the families that were left waiting at home. She embraced it even when it left her worn down and full of bitter resentment because it made her better, it made her want to be better, and it made her who she was.


	8. Algophobia – Trent Sawyer

**_ Algophobia – Trent Sawyer _ **

Pain was not something that one should fear especially when the line of work they were in inevitably would mean pain of some sort or another, and especially when you were a medic of the infamous Bravo team. Trent did not fear pain when he was the one suffering from it but what he did fear with a rabid hatred was when he had to cause his brother’s pain despite it being done so to help them, or when he was unable to help ease the agony that they felt even if they did not express it because Seals were conditioned not to show pain or fear.

Trent had lost count of how many times he had seen his brother’s in some sort of pain that he could not fix immediately which was always a punch in the gut, or the number of times he had to cause them pain in order to help them like the times he had to set a broken bone or some sort of dislocation even with an injection of morphine in their thigh to help ease their agony. And Trent would do it all without fail or hesitation every single time because it was what kept his brother’s alive until they could get the more intensive medical care that they often required but it did not mean that it did not leave a permanent mark, another wisp of self-hatred to begin to bubble beneath the surface, or the feeling of guilt to sink in once they were back on base or on the plane flying away from wherever they had landed, or at the makeshift infirmary or hospital, or at home.

The quiet still moments at home were when Trent found himself reflecting on whatever medical aid he had found himself rendering while on a mission and that almost always got to him, made him question what he could have done differently, if there had been a way to ease the pain that he had inflicted or be unable to soothe, and it was what drove him to know more and upskill so that he could be the best and his brother’s did not have to go through the pain that their injuries often incurred.

Trent had a reputation as a medic who could be rough and abrasive at times but he had learned very early on in his time as a Tier One Operator that he needed to detach himself while in the field when he treated someone, brother or not, especially when it was a serious and life threatening injury because if he did not detach himself then he could not do what he needed too because it would be too much of a burden and too big of a weight to bare, and it took his focus aware from the job at hand. But it did not mean that he took any pleasure in causing anyone pain when he did so. The mere knowledge that he caused or added to someone’s suffering took a tremendous toll on him, more than he cared to admit or even acknowledge.

So Trent did not fear his own pain but he feared causing others pain at his hands.


	9. Achluophobia – Sonny Quinn

**_ Achluophobia – Sonny Quinn _ **

The fear of darkness was not a feeling that Sonny Quinn was accustomed too after all he had spent countless hours in cramped and dark conditions as a Seal but this time had taken its toll and had left him shaken, maybe it was because he did not have NVD’s or maybe it was because he had spent several days confined in a small and cramped pitch black room that his eyes could not acclimatise too after he had been separated from the rest of Bravo during a mission to snatch a HVT up alive. His SERE training had given him a small taste of confined capture but it had not prepared him for what he had gone through after all there had been no contact with anyone once he came too alone in the dark confined room until his brothers had rescued him.

Sonny eased himself down into his bunk as all he wanted to do was sleep after having been rescued and returned to base where he was medically assessed, allowed to have a hot shower and get changed into a fresh set of clothes before he spent several hours being debriefed and filling in reports although there was not much to say given that he had been knocked unconscious by being hit over the head with something that had left him with a large hematoma and one hell of a concussion and then held in that confined pitch black space until his brothers appeared and bought him home to the base for this mission. All he wanted to do was sleep but once Brock turned off the lights in the barracks he suddenly tensed and his breathing sped up all on its own becoming short and shallow until it was uncontrollable, and he could hardly breathe which caused his lungs to burn and seize in pain.

“Sonny?!” Clay jumped down from the top bunk hearing and sensing his brother’s distress in one quick movement not even making an effort to brace himself against the impact of the concrete floor on his bare feet. His frantic call alerted Trent and Brock who both scrambled out of their own bunks and over to Sonny.

“Get the light on.” Trent did not care who turned the light on but he knew he needed to be able to see what was happening to help Sonny as he was worried about a delayed reaction or an injury that had not been picked up, after all Sonny was not the easiest person to get within five feet of a doctor especially if one of his brothers could patch him up instead. It did not matter what the injury was, only that you were not a doctor and could do a half decent patch up job then that was Sonny Quinn’s ideal and first choice.

Brock flicked the switch with ease casting a bright glow over the entire room. Clay was crouched at Sonny’s side looking awfully concerned as he side stepped further down so that Trent could kneel near Sonny’s head. And Sonny, his chest was heaving and he was struggling to breathe, his skin was ashen yet he was sweaty, and he was physically trembling. “Pulse is racing.” Clay pulled his hand away from Sonny’s neck as he informed Trent of the result of the pulse check he had done blindly before the lights were even turned on.

“Sonny, hey, I need you to tell me what’s going on.” Trent’s voice was modulated as he switched places with Clay wordlessly and began to press his hands to his ribs wondering if they were broken and had shifted causing his lung to be punctured, not wanting to worry anyone more than they already were. “Any chest pain?” Trent asked as he continued to palpitate Sonny’s torso but not feeling any broken bones which did not help to identify what was going on.

“Yeah.” Sonny wheezed harshly and his voice was hoarse as he struggled to breathe. His eyes were wide with panic as Trent pulled him into an upright position hoping it would help ease his breathing.

“Get Jason. We need to get him to the infirmary” Trent ordered highly concerned at the sudden onset of the symptoms as Brock nodded and took off running out of the barracks with Cerb beside him barking.

Clay could see that Sonny’s breathing was not easing even being held upright so without any hesitation he stood up and slipped in behind Sonny to keep him upright so that Trent’s hands were free to keep examining him. “I’ve got you Sonny, you’re going to be okay.” Clay’s hand found its way to Sonny’s neck once more as his fingers quickly found what they were looking for – his pulse which was alarming as it had only risen – while he kept the panic at the sight of his brother being unable to breathe out of his voice.

**SEAL TEAM**

Brock ran as fast as he could knowing Jason and Ray were still with Blackburn and Mandy in TOC discussing what Mandy had learned with Cerb running ahead of him barking loudly and growling at anyone who got in their way. Cerb leapt through the open window of TOC due to the unbearably humid night air, and Brock was sure he would be reprimanded for Cerb’s actions given the pile of paper that he saw flying everywhere as he burst through the door with all the grace of a raging bull in a china shop, startling everyone and making them all look at him as if he was insane while Cerb barked and ran around the large table manically.

“It’s Sonny. He can’t breathe. Need to get him to the infirmary.” Brock rushed the words out before he turned on his feet and ran straight out with Cerb once again choosing to exit through the window sending even more paper flying and following after him.

Jason glanced at Ray at Brock and Cerb’s sudden and dishevelled appearance, his few rushed words, and then his disappearance without providing them with any further details before both men were rushing after him with Blackburn hot on their trail and Mandy yelling after them that she would inform the infirmary that they were on their way in and get a vehicle to get them there. “I thought the doc cleared him?” Ray questioned as they ran across the base to the barracks.

“He did.” Jason growled not at all happy that something had been missed, and one doctor would be in for the worst dressing down he ever would have if Sonny was not okay.

Blackburn nearly ran right into the back of Ray as both he and Jason skidded to a stop in the doorway of the barracks. “Trent, sitrep.” Jason ordered somewhat shocked by how distressed Sonny was even as his head was rested back against Clay’s shoulder who was taking his pulse while Trent continued to examine him. His condition had certainly deteriorated quickly in Jason’s eyes from the last time he had seen him.

“Pulse is through the roof, chest pain, shortness of breath, trembling, sweating. Nothing appears broken. I want him on a monitor now, it has to be something internal.” Trent answered distractedly as all of his attention was on Sonny who was growing visibly weaker as the strain on his body was physically exhausting him and showed no signs of easing.

The squeal of brakes and the skid of tyres bought a tiny amount of relief as one of Bravo’s support team pulled up in one of the trucks used around base. “Ride’s here. Load up.” Blackburn was concerned as he stepped to the side after informing them that the ride was here.

Within a minute, Clay, Brock and Trent had Sonny up and on his feet although his balance was off and he was unsteady because of how much he was trembling, and loaded into the back of the truck with Cerb and Jason climbing on while Ray got in the passenger’s seat ordering the support member to get them to the infirmary as quick as possible leaving Blackburn at the barracks knowing that he would check in later.

**SEAL TEAM**

Jason paced the hallway twenty steps one way and then twenty steps back and his hands alternated from being on his hips to being on his head as he glared up at the ceiling as they waited for any news on Sonny’s condition. As soon as they had pulled up outside the infirmary they were met by the medical team and Sonny was pulled from Clay’s arms and loaded onto a gurney then rushed inside with Trent following after him and being allowed to stay with him.

Ray sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs with his head leaned back against the wall and his eyes closed because he could not watch Jason pace any longer and he knew that saying anything would only result in a snappy comment being aimed back at him having sent a quick prayer up to God for Sonny to be alright because they could not lose him after only getting him back.

Brock sat a few chairs down from Ray but he was hunched over with his elbows on his knees and his head rested on his hands. Cerb was laid at his feet with his head rested on his paws with his eyes continually tracking Jason’s movements.

Clay had sat himself down on the floor in the corner, or rather had slid down to the floor as he had been leaning against the wall, and had bought his legs up to his chest with his arms wrapped around his knees and his chin was pressed on his hands. He was terrified to let go of Sonny as the medics pulled him away without the gentleness that he expected but he knew he had to relinquish his hold so that he could get the help that he needed so he had. Clay wondered what had been missed, and how it had been missed.

**SEAL TEAM**

Trent kept a diligent eye of everything that the doctor was doing after he made sure that it was the doctor being the one that treated Sonny and not someone less qualified. Sonny was still fighting to breathe even with the oxygen mask secured over his face and providing him 100% oxygen, his heart rate still had the alarm sounding on the machine until a nurse silenced it as it was not helping to ease Sonny’s distress, the sweat was pooling rapidly and drenching the linens that were under and over him despite the nurse wiping it away with a wet flannel, his body was still trembling violently and beyond any bit of control, he was trying to rub at his chest to signal that it was painful, and on top of that Sonny was feeling dizzy and nauseous. An intravenous drip had been started using a peripheral line in his hand to deliver fluids to replace the ones that he was losing through sweat almost immediately upon arrival.

Sonny’s eyes searched frantically around the room repeatedly but not once did he protest any of the actions made by any of the medical personnel like he usually would be but he could barely catch his breath so there was no way he was going to be speaking any time soon. The nurses had rushed the vials of blood away to be tested, and returned with a portable ultrasound that was quickly performed on Sonny’s heart as his ECG had showed no irregularities or rather no sign of a heart attack which was another small relief although the worry still remained as his condition showed no sign of improving yet it had not worsened either.

**SEAL TEAM**

Mandy made her way over to the infirmary, it had been over two hours and she had heard nothing, neither had Eric after he returned and informed her they were rushing Sonny over to the infirmary. She walked in and the tense atmosphere enveloped her immediately as Jason paced while the others sat, Ray and Brock in chairs, and Clay curled up on the floor in the corner which reminded her of a terrified child.

“Any news?” She asked softly as she took the seat next to Ray knowing it was best not to get in the way of Jason’s pacing. As much as she liked to try and put distance between herself and the men of Bravo she still cared and would do whatever she could to help them.

“No.” Ray answered unmoving. “Trent is with him.” He added on although that did not need to be said as it was almost a given anytime one of them had to make a visit to the infirmary.

Mandy nodded as she settled into wait with the men although it went unseen by all of them. She went over in her mind if she had missed any signs of Sonny’s distress over the day but could not recall anything that would make a difference – sure he had been tired and grouchy as he was sick of repeating himself and his answers but nothing that raised any red flags or would have foresaw an emergency trip to the infirmary or left his brothers panicked. She settled back into the chair and kept her eyes on Jason, following his repetitive moments with her eyes while silently hoping that someone would come out soon with an update and that it was nothing too serious but it had been over two hours with no news.

**SEAL TEAM**

Trent rushed forward as Sonny went lax as the exhaustion finally took its toll and made him pass out, his fingers quickly and effectively finding his pulse as his eyes roamed over at the monitors seeing that his vitals were starting to slow, to return to normal albeit slowly.

“Over exertion on his system is the cause of his black out most likely. It should not be too long before he wakes and by then we will have the bloodwork back.” The nurse understood Trent’s rushed movements but made no effort to reprimand him or ward him off. “Can I get you anything?” She asked having been on shift the previous night when Sonny had been bought in with Bravo worriedly at his side, it was obvious they cared and that the Texan’s welfare was first and foremost their primary concern over their own wellbeing.

“No thanks.” Trent shook his head despite being grateful for the offer that had been extended as he leaned back and took a seat on the edge of the bed without looking away from the monitors that showed Sonny’s heartrate was returning to normal, and he could see that his breathing was also slowing and returning to normal. Trent remained unmoved as he waited for Sonny to wake or the doctor to return, whichever came first although he knew that the rest of Bravo would be rather impatient as he had not left Sonny’s side and it had been over two hours and that he should update them.

Sonny groaned and his eyes fluttered open to see that he was back in the infirmary and that Trent was stood a few feet away from the end of the bed speaking to the doctor. Sonny ignored how heavy his arm felt as he reached up and pulled the oxygen mask away from his face, catching sight of the intravenous drip in his arm, and a number of electrodes over his chest with leads that connected to the monitors. “Trent?” Sonny frowned at the hoarseness of his own voice as he captured the attention of both men.

“Welcome back Mr Quinn. I did not think we would be seeing you back so soon given how resistant you are to us.” The doctor earned himself a half hearted glare with that greeting, and a scowl from Trent. “I will let you explain. Excuse me.” The doctor took the hint and left Trent to fill Sonny in.

“What ‘appened?” Sonny asked once the door was closed and the doctor was gone. The bone deep exhaustion were disconcerting to Sonny himself as he did not recall anything after he had laid down in his bunk and started to struggle to catch his breath, and he had no idea why he was in the infirmary.

Trent moved forward again and sat himself down on the edge of the bed once more. “What’s the last thing you recall?” He saw the frown that crossed Sonny’s face at his question.

“Laying in my bunk… the lights went off and the room became dark… couldn’t catch my breath… gets a wee bit hazy after that but I recall my chest hurtin’.” Sonny answered too tired to be a smart ass and mock Trent for using a common female tactic of answering a question with a question instead of giving him a proper answer.

Trent nodded as things began to make sense. “Did you feel short of breath before the lights were turned off?” He asked hoping not to confirm the doctor’s diagnosis but all of the tests had come back clear.

“Nope.” Sonny grumbled as he raised an eyebrow at Trent waiting for him to still answer his original question of what had happened that had resulted in him being bought to the infirmary and trussed up to every machine that there was.

“You had a severe panic attack, and I think being plunged into the dark again caused it.” Trent explained despite having initially rejected the doctor’s diagnosis but it was understandable considering what Sonny had been through. “It lasted for well over an hour which is extremely rare, and the physical tax it took on your already overtaxed system made you pass out. The doctor wants to keep you under observation just until that bag of fluids has finished dripping through before he releases you but you will be confined to the barracks so you can rest afterwards.” He gave Sonny the relevant information and pre-empted his next question because he knew his teammate and his hatred for hospitals.

“Panic attack?” Sonny questioned hoarsely hating how much it hurt to speak but then again his entire body ached although he was concerned that he had a panic attack over something that seemed so trivial.

“Yeah, nothing to get worked up about. Put the oxygen mask back on and get some sleep. I’m going to go and update everyone.” Trent could see that Sonny was almost asleep and it was what he needed so he reached out and took hold of the oxygen mask then with ease affixed it back over his face even though his oxygen levels were close to being normal again it still helped.

“The dark?” Sonny’s voice was muffled with the oxygen mask as he questioned Trent and his thinking or rather his reason for his panic attack.

“Seems like the most obvious trigger. We will sort it out Sonny, it might have just been a one time thing but even if its not then we will work on how to get you through it.” Trent was resolute in his offer although he in no way claimed to have all of the answers. Sonny nodded feebly before he let his eyelids close and his breathing even out signalling that the exhaustion had pulled him under once more, and that he would be asleep for a while which would mean less complaining and trouble for the hospital staff. Trent eased himself up and off of the bed without waking him then headed to find the rest of his brothers; he sent a quick nod towards the kindest nurse that had been treating Sonny and she returned it silently signalling that she would be close by and keep an eye on him while he was gone.

**SEAL TEAM**

Two and a half hours. Two and a half hours that was torturous. Two and a half hours that felt a hell of a lot longer, more like a lifetime.

The door opened and Trent walked out which had Jason pausing in his pacing, Clay scrambling to get up off of the floor and onto his feet although no one missed how he reached his arm out to brace himself against the wall, Cerb rising into a sitting position and cocking his head to the side in anticipation, Brock straightening up and rising to his feet, while Ray raised his head and opened his eyes but remained unmoved, and Mandy once again scanned the worried men before she stood up and offered Trent her seat as he looked worn down which was accepted.

Trent looked around at the packed waiting room and then scrubbed his hands over his face feeling the weariness and tiredness set in once more. “He’s alright.” Those first words were a relief to say and to hear.

“He’s alright?” Jason repeated his words slowly and with clear disbelief as he glanced back at the door that Trent had come through almost expecting to see Sonny walk through them.

“Doc is going to keep him under observation until the bag of fluids finishes but then he will be released and confined to his bunk to rest.” Trent shrugged and leaned back into the chair knowing that his answer would not satisfy any of them even the tiniest bit.

“Well then what the hell happened?” Jason exploded because there was absolutely no way Sonny could be as alright as Trent was making him out to be given the condition that they bought him into the infirmary in.

“Jase…” Ray barely had the energy to reprimand his friend and boss but Jason needed to rein his emotions in. They were all overtired, had all been stressed and worried since the moment they realised that Sonny was missing, and had panicked more than they cared to admit at his rapidly deteriorated condition. Admittedly, even to Ray, there was disbelief that Sonny was simply alright but he knew that Trent would not tell them anything that was not true especially in regards to one of their own’s health.

“We bought him in and he couldn’t breathe Ray. He was trembling and having chest pains and sweating. He was barely coherent. And now he’s alright? How can he just be alright?” Jason reminded them all of the few harrowing hours before when Sonny was rushed away from them, ignoring the sharp almost pained inhale that came from Clay at his words. Mandy moved across the small room and stood in front of Jason as she placed her hands on his shoulders to calm him down and still him as she knew he would begin pacing again if she did not.

“Let Trent explain.” Mandy kept her voice firm as she tried to get Jason to see sense, and to take a figurative step back to give Trent the time to explain in more detail what had happened and how Sonny could be alright. Mandy may not have seen Sonny when his health deteriorated but she knew the men surrounding her and she knew that they would not be as worried as they were if it was not something serious.

“Thanks Mandy but arghh… could you give us a few minutes?” Trent was grateful that she had stepped in with Jason but he also knew that what he had to say was delicate information that their CIA agent did not need to know as the last thing Sonny needed was to be questioned or fussed over although no one had ever accused Mandy of fussing over anyone on Bravo.

Mandy looked at Jason for a few seconds to make sure he would keep his cool and let Trent explain before she gave Trent a small nod. “I’ll return to TOC and let Eric know that Sonny is alright.” She said before she glanced at Jason once more then left the room which left the men confused and all anxious at the way Trent had requested that Mandy leave the room.

“Trent?” Clay sounded terrified and confused, almost like a lost little boy that had no idea what was happening and was terrified to know the answer to the question that he was not quite ready to ask either. His voice croaked and cracked from disuse but saying Trent’s name was enough.

“Sonny had a severe panic attack that lasted for over an hour which is quite rare. Every test that the doctor did has come back clear.” Trent explained knowing that more details would be required.

“All of that was from a panic attack?” Brock’s arms spread out in disbelief as his eyes widened in shock.

“It wasn’t a heart attack?” Clay rushed out with a harsh rasp to his voice with disbelief as he had been thinking the worst given the way Sonny could not breathe and how he was clutching at his chest and shoulder when he had been pulled out of Clay’s arms.

Trent was concerned at how pale Clay seemed and how harsh his breathing was, and wondered what the hell was going through his head but then again after everything they had been through in the past few days they were all off balance. “No, no he did not have a heart attack. A panic attack can cause similar symptoms especially one as severe and as prolonged as the one Sonny has had.” Trent was quick to assert that Sonny really was okay as he hoped that it would ease Clay’s worry and everyone else’s.

“He had a severe panic attack and you’re telling us that he is alright?” Jason asked still not understanding how a panic attack could be so severe, and he could not wrap his head around that Sonny had been the one to suffer from one.

“Yes Jason.” Trent answered with a bite, exasperated and tired before he reined himself in knowing it was hard to understand and correlate that the symptoms were the same but the outcome was very different especially when they had yet to see Sonny for themselves. “He went back to sleep, with a bit of rest and a few days to re-accumulate he will be fine.” Trent’s concern moved back to Clay once more as he looked like he was barely managing to remain upright.

“What… I mean do you know what caused it? What caused it to be so severe that Sonny required hospitalisation?” Ray could see that Trent’s concern was shifting to Clay and he could understand given that the kid looked sick and in dismay, but Ray’s concern shifted now that he knew Sonny would be alright from the immediate to the long term prognosis and the cause of the severe panic attack. Sonny had many phobias but he had never ever reacted this way, and never had a panic attack as far as Ray was aware.

“The lights were switched off and the room plunged into darkness.” Trent knew not to say it was a guess as that would only raise more questions and second guessing to the doctor’s diagnosis which Trent supported otherwise he would not be delivering it to his concerned brothers. He told them as if it was a matter of fact rather than anything else.

“Okay, I’m going to need you to explain that to me Trent.” Brock was immediately flooded with guilt as he had been the one to turn off the lights which had resulted in Sonny’s panic attack which he still did not understand. Cerb picked up in the change in him and immediately shifted in closer so that his entire body was leant against Brock’s legs, and Brock immediately let his hand drop to rest on Cerb’s head drawing comfort from the hair missile.

“Okay, I want everyone to take a seat so we can talk this through before we go and see Sonny. Let’s get everything clear and understood.” It was clear to Trent that the discussion needed to be had given the varying range of emotions that were radiating off of the men. Jason still looked in disbelief and like he did not comprehend what he had been told, Ray looked bewildered although there was an err of understanding, Brock looked to be flooded with guilt and confused, and Clay, well Clay looked like he was going to throw up or collapse although Trent was not sure whether it was because he was relieved that Sonny was alright or he was still shaken up and had not reconciled the fact that Sonny was truly okay. Jason nodded and sat down in one of the chairs opposite Trent while Brock took his seat back and Clay uneasily made his way over to sit by Jason.

“I am going to preface this with that we were all caught off guard. Sonny was his usual self, all Texan bluster.” Trent had no idea how to start this conversation but he let the words come right out of his mouth without any second thought because it was best to be frank. “It’s no one’s fault except for the person or people that hit him hard enough to knock him out and give him a hematoma and a concussion.” He paused as he looked at Brock to make sure he understood this especially given that his actions had unknowingly sent Sonny into a panic. “And hell Sonny had no idea that he would have a reaction like he did so we definitely had no way of knowing either.” He kept his voice firm as he once again made eye contact with each and every one of his brothers.

“Will he have another one, another panic attack?” Clay’s voice was so quiet that if it had not been for the silence of the room then he would not have been heard. He was looking down at the floor as he did not want to see the look on Trent’s face or anyone else’s as it felt horrible to have to ask the question but Clay just wanted to help Sonny in any way he could and it was the first question that came to mind to ask.

“That is where it gets tricky and I cannot give you an answer, not one you want or one you need… I hope like hell it is just a one off reaction but given all the strain and stress that his body has been through in the past several hours and especially the past two hours, I am not ready to test him right now by making a room descend into pitch blackness just to see whether it happens again.” Trent was absolutely resolute in letting Sonny recover physically before he tested to see if the darkness would cause him to have another panic attack but he understood the need to ask and for an answer even if it was not the one he wanted to give. He knew that they would have to see if being in the dark did trigger one sooner rather than later but for now he would make a concession or two until that could be done.

“What is your gut feeling though? Cards on the table Trent. You have never minced your words before so do not start now.” Jason wanted to order Trent to spit out everything that he was not saying to them but he knew that it would do no good, although his tone was harsher than he meant as his concern had grown and it felt like he was riding a rollercoaster of emotions which was unsettling. Sonny had put up one hell of a front to make it appear that he was alright but given what Trent had said that Sonny would have had no idea of his reaction until he had had it; Jason could not reprimand the Texan for not saying something although a part of him wanted too.

“My gut instinct is that it is a one off as it was the first time being in the dark since we found him and bought him out. It was not something I even thought to consider could happen; I was so relieved, as we all were, that he was not seriously injured that I did not think of the psychological toll that being confined and kept in absolute darkness could have had on him.” Trent believed that it truly was a one off but he did not want to get their hopes up only to dash them. Instinctually he knew he could be wrong but it was his gut feeling and it was what he was sticking with until they had other evidence or something happened that made him change his mind.

“Okay well what can we do to help Sonny in the meantime?” Clay asked like a little brother that wanted to take his older brother’s pain away still wide eyed as he finally looked up and over at Trent.

“Keep him company until we can get him out of here cause we all know how much he hates being in a hospital bed, and then we will get him settled into his bunk at the barracks and let him sleep. We will keep the light on for now merely as a precaution as well in there.” It was the only answer that Trent had knowing that the Texan needed to have the supportive company of his brothers more than anything else. “He is going to feel pretty sluggish and sore from the strain so he is restricted to light duty for the next few days as well.” The last part was directed at Jason more than anyone else because that was a battle that he would have to have with Sonny who was vehemently opposed to anything that was classified as light duty as the Texan loved to be in the action which was highlighted by his enjoyment of a ‘mad minute’.

Jason swept his hands over his face, feeling every bit of stress and tiredness weigh down on him, before he took a deep breath and looked at the men around him. “Let’s go see our crazy Texan.” Jason did not even need to finish his sentence as all of the men were on their feet and following Trent who led the way although he did see in his peripheral vision that Brock had reached out to steady Clay on his feet for the briefest of moments until he gained his balance once he had locked his knees to support himself. Jason made a mental note to check in on Clay, or have Ray talk to the kid as he was better with his words, as he had witnessed just how distraught Clay was when Sonny was nowhere to be found despite the calm and stoic façade that he put up, and he had an inkling that the kid had been too worried about Sonny’s wellbeing after they had found him to look after himself and his own basic needs.

**SEAL TEAM**

Sonny felt like every part of his body was filled with lead as he slowly and somewhat groggily awoke but even with that feeling he did not want to be laid up in a hospital bed. He became aware of what had woken him up in the first place as he forced his eyelids to lift, and that was Trent standing at his bedside and removing the intravenous cannula from his hand with anything but a delicate touch. “That’s not a dainty touch you have there, Trent.” Sonny grimaced before he winced as he caught sight of how bruised the back of his hand already was as he reached up and pulled the oxygen mask off.

“Don’t start complainin’ or I’ll leave you in here.” Trent was quick to threaten although his actions suggested the opposite given that he was removing all of the electrodes from Sonny’s chest that were monitoring him so that he could get out of the bed and the infirmary.

“No you won’t.” Sonny smirked knowing that his brothers would not leave him in the infirmary just like they had not stopped searching for him until they had found him as he finally saw them now that he shifted his gaze from Trent. “Hey.” He greeted as he was handed a cup of water by Trent which he gratefully took.

“How are you feeling Sonny?” Ray asked treading lightly although Trent seemed happy with everything that the monitors had been showing right up until he turned them off while they had waited silently for the bag of fluids to finish and for Sonny to wake up. Ray knew that Jason would not ask the question just yet because he was still processing things, and when he did ask the question he expected totally honesty without any of Sonny’s usual bluster.

“Ready to get out of here.” Sonny preferred not to answer the question just yet as he still felt bad but nothing was going to prolong his admission to the infirmary, although he was aware that he would have to answer that question from Jason in the coming days to even be considered to be removed from his light duty status.

“Doc’s already signed your discharge papers so we’re good to go.” Trent informed him as he stepped back to allow Sonny the room to move off of the bed. Sonny eased himself off of the bed and took the t-shirt that was offered to him by Jason, giving his boss a single nod that let him know he was alright, before he pulled the shirt over his head then stilled as the change in position and the movement had him feeling a little lightheaded which hit him un-expectantly. “You good?” Trent asked as he reached out and grasped Sonny’s shoulder as the Texan blinked to re-orientate himself.

“Yeah. Get me out of here.” Sonny shook Trent’s hand off of his shoulder and headed for the door having felt like he had been in the infirmary for way to long and surrounded by one to many doctors since he had been found.

Clay frowned from his position in the far corner of the hospital room where he was holding up the wall, or rather the wall was keeping him upright as he watched how Sonny had paled and almost seemed to sway momentarily as soon as he was on his feet, and he felt his concern grow because even though Trent and the doctor had both said that Sonny was alright he did not look it. A pat on Clay’s own arm had him shifting his attention to Brock who was standing beside him and had been unable to shake the look of guilt off of his face. “Let’s go Spense.” Brock spoke quietly nudging him away from the wall as Sonny, Trent, Ray and Jason had already left the room while Cerb waited impatiently at the door. Clay nodded and bit down on his lip as he followed Cerb out with Brock following behind him trying to calm the internal panic that still lingered within him.

**SEAL TEAM**

The room was well lit and Sonny had fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow which left Jason to throw the blanket over top of him immediately upon their return from the infirmary before Jason went to check in with Blackburn and Mandy while Ray went to skype call Naima, leaving the rest to crawl into their own bunks to get some sleep that they all desperately needed except Clay who could not just climb into his bunk and go to sleep like the past few hours, or the past few days, had not happened so he settled down on the floor with his back rested up against the wall and his feet braced against the floor to keep watch and make sure that his brother was not distressed in any way for the rest of the night.


	10. Somniphobia – Jason Hayes

**_ Somniphobia – Jason Hayes _ **

Jason paced the darkened room once more being mindful of the furniture so he did not walk into it as he alternated between having his hands clasped behind his back and having them on his neck rubbing at the imaginary knot that had seemed to settle there permanently as he fought against his body’s exhaustion. He was beyond exhausted and with every lap of the small darkened room he could feel his body lagging further but he was intent on pushing through it because the last thing he wanted to do was sleep or even attempt to sleep.

His sleep had not been restful for days, the nightmares were constantly plaguing him and there seemed to be no escape from them, and the last thing he wanted was to get caught up in one of them again because that had left him breathless and terrified. It felt like every bad thing that had ever happened to him and those he cared for was being re-lived through his nightmares.

He looked up at the ceiling yet again before he bought his hands up to his face and scratched at the day’s old scruff that he had left to grow knowing that he was not going to win the battle that was seemingly raging between his body and his mind but he was going to try and push himself so that he did not go to sleep, or at least not to the point where he could dream.

The fear that he felt when he thought of going to sleep was one that he had never experienced before. Sure he could recall when he was a lot younger and he could not go to sleep until his Mom had checked underneath the bed and in the closet for monsters but there had never been this pained and intense fear that now made its way through his body as it manifested itself into such a physical thing. He knew the toll that sleep deprivation could take on the human body, and he knew that his body had been pushed past its limits time and time again but he was going to do everything he could not to go to sleep because sleeping meant that the nightmares would plague him and would leave him terrified as he would wake up alone with no one to soothe him or to tell him it was just a nightmare.

He could only imagine how he looked, how dishevelled he appeared, after all almost everyone that knew him had asked if he had been sleeping and he gave them the brush off as much as he could but he could see it in their eyes that they did not believe him for a second. Hell, even Blackburn, had ordered him to go home and sleep and they weren’t even on a mission or deployed.

With a sigh Jason left the darkness of his bedroom and made his way into the living room, turning on the lights as he went, and turned on the t.v. to the sports channel figuring old reruns of games from years ago were better than pacing in the dark thinking about how much he did not want to sleep for his fear of what it would bring.


	11. Dentophobia – Clay Spenser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is the final piece in this collection. Thank you for the wonderful comments and I can assure you all that there is another SEAL TEAM Collection coming very shortly as I have been writing a lot! Hope you enjoy...

**_ Dentophobia – Clay Spenser _ **

Clay sat down in the mess hall with his team for lunch sandwiched between Brock and Ray with Cerberus laid on the floor snoozing with his head resting lightly on his paws while Trent, Sonny and Jason sat on the opposite side of the table. Clay was grateful to be on base at home for a few days as the team undertook a few training exercises while they waited for a spin up. He withheld a grimace as one of his bottom wisdom teeth ached sending sharp stabs of pain into his jaw and down his neck; it had been acting up on and off for a few weeks but it was nothing that a bit of Tylenol could not fix, and it had chosen to make its reappearance today with the accompaniment of a less than appetising taste in his mouth. He curled his hand into a loose fist and pressed it up under his jaw, making it look like he was just resting his head on his fist but the pressure helped to ease a bit of the pain until he could get the Tylenol from his pack that was located in his cage. He had spent most of their lunch break so far just pushing his food around the tray with the plastic fork but could not be bothered anymore so he let the plastic fork drop out of his hand and pushed the tray away from him.

Jason looked over at Clay’s tray that was completely untouched as he pushed it away; the kid was not fooling anybody by pushing his food around. “You done?” Jason asked seeing the familiar signs that their youngest was in pain, the tight lines around his eyes, his clenched fist tucked under his jaw, and his bottom lip was sucked into his mouth with his top teeth biting down on it. Jason also noted how the rest of the men were all subtly keeping an eye on him even as they continued to eat.

Clay raised his other hand to his eyes and rubbed them before he let it drop back down to the table and gave Jason a feeble nod. He was pretty sure that even opening his mouth was going to hurt so a verbal response was out of the question unless one was demanded. “Dump your tray and hit the showers.” Jason ordered knowing Clay was in no shape to go through any more training exercises for the day, sure he could send him to the range but he was sure the kickback from whatever weapon he chose to shoot with would cause the kid some kind of pain so target practise was out as well. Clay gazed at Jason for a few seconds, his eyes a little unfocused, before he stood up and grabbed his tray then walked away to follow through on the orders.

“Kid’s in pain again.” Ray sighed as he stated the obvious once Clay was well and truly out of their sight having dumped the contents of his tray in the bin and then returned his tray to the stack that were to be cleaned.

“Didn’t eat anything either.” Brock added on having seen how slowly he had pushed his food around the tray, not even attempting to take a bite. “Didn’t see him eat anything at breakfast either.” He recalled Clay had been sitting with a bottle of room temperature water and nothing else when they had joined him earlier in the morning.

Sonny pushed his now empty tray away and leaned back in his chair as he thought back over the past few days at Clay’s eating habits. “He’s been in pain for a few days. Didn’t even have a beer at the bar, he stuck to water and made sure that there was no ice in his glass. And I couldn’t convince him to eat anything there either.” He explained wishing he had picked up on it earlier, or rather called Clay out on it as they could see the toll the pain and the lack of eating and drinking was taking on their youngest brother.

“Trent?” Jason hoped that Trent would have something valuable to add as he had remained too quiet for Jason’s liking.

“It’s his tooth, been acting up on and off for a few weeks at least. Kid needs a dentist, not me.” Trent said waving his fork around before he shrugged not liking that Clay was in pain any more than the rest of them.

“Well why the hell doesn’t he just go to the base dentist and get it sorted then?” Jason could not understand how the kid could be in constant pain on and off and not get it sorted when there was a solution right here on base because like every Navy base they had a dentist to treat them.

Ray could not help the snicker that escaped his lips as a thought popped into his mind making everyone look at him with Jason scowling and waiting for an explanation. “I think Clay and Jameelah share something.” Ray knew his daughter’s hatred of the dentist as he recalled the last time he had to take her and the fight that he had holding onto her as she kicked and squirmed all the while crying and begging him to keep the dentist away from her. The only difference was his daughter was a little girl while Clay was a grown man, a Navy Seal, but the fear of dentists did not discriminate; and he hoped it was something that Jameelah would grow out of but it was apparent that Clay had not.

“Share what?” Sonny grumbled not understanding why Ray was snickering when Clay was in obvious pain.

“Pretty sure Mikey went through the same thing Jase. Just our kid has not grown out of it.” Ray’s statement had Jason cursing as he realised what Ray was implying as Brock smirked and Trent shook his head. Jason knew immediately what Ray meant as he recalled how Mikey had a fear of going to the dentist when he was around four to the point where his son would make himself sick over the mere mention of the dentist but thankfully Alana had managed to ease the tension Mikey had felt and eventually the fear had lessened considerably in the past years.

“What the hell?” Sonny leaned forward menacingly as he had not figured out what Ray was talking about and what had Jason cursing a blue streak that rivalled the best of them.

“Ray thinks the kid is scared of the dentist.” Brock helpfully supplied not missing the look of confusion that overtook the anger that showed on Sonny’s face. Brock shrugged his shoulder as it made sense to him given how Clay had not taken care of the problem beforehand.

“Pretty boy gets bullets fired at him on a regular basis but it’s the dentist that has him fretting worse than a Texan without a gun?” Sonny could not help keep the disbelief out of his voice as he asked for clarification to what the rest of the team were thinking as his comparison earned a few wry smiles and snickers.

“Makes sense.” Trent answered with a shrug without being dismissive of the suggestion. “Kid’s clearly in pain, has been for weeks on and off and I know it is his tooth that is the cause of the pain, and his face is starting to swell now too. He’s not eating and avoiding drinking as well if he can cause I’m betting that makes everything feel worse. He’s irritable and exhausted from the pain and if I had to guess I would say that he isn’t sleeping that well or at all either. And doing his best to ignore it all.” Trent laid out what they knew as it made sense. The kid was avoiding going to the dentist, had been for a while, and it made sense if he feared them.

Jason raised his hand to his cheek and scratched at the day’s old scruff knowing that Clay needed to get his tooth sorted before they were spun up again. There were a few possibilities that could happen if Clay did not get it taken care of and none of them were anything that he was willing to entertain; the last thing Clay needed was to be unfocused during a mission because bad things could happen as an infection could set in and leave him violently ill, or they might have to risk pulling the tooth themselves in a crude manner without the proper instruments if they were stuck in the middle of nowhere which could cause long term or even permanent damage but most of all Jason did not want to see Clay or any of his team in pain if it could be avoided at all. “He is restricted to base until he sees the dentist and gets his tooth taken care of.” Jason decided knowing it would be the only way to get Clay into see the dentist. “I will ground him if I need too.” It was the last thing he wanted to do but when it came to the health of his team it was not something that Jason was willing to play with or risk, he had learned that lesson from past experiences that he preferred not to recall.

They all knew how stubborn the kid could be and how well he could hide his feelings when he needed too – something that they were sure that they had Ash Spenser to thank for in the most unkindest way that they could possibly think of – but they knew that this had gone beyond the usual stubbornness that their kid displayed on occasion as they had been working hard on making him recognise when he could be as stubborn as he wanted and when he could not. “So, how are we doing this boss? The kid is not going to take being grounded or restricted to base well.” Sonny hoped that Jason had more to his plan than simply punishing Spenser until he took himself off to the dentist because he had an inkling that the kid would stand his ground on this one and be more resistant than he usually would be despite the pain that he was obviously in.

Jason sighed knowing that Sonny was right, and it felt wrong to punish Clay for being fearful of the dentist but they were required to be in optimum health and when one of them was not then it could pose a risk to all of them. “Trent, go and see if the dentist can fit him in this afternoon. Tell him it is an emergency if you have too then met us back at the cages then we are going to have a little chat with the kid.” Jason paused already foreseeing how it would go. “Hope your afternoon is clear boys because it looks like Bravo is taking a trip to the dentist with our kid.” If they all had to go to the dentist to get Spenser to take care of his problem tooth then they would, and if they had to carry him kicking, screaming and squirming then they would because they hated to see him in any sort of pain and this had already gone on too long.

“You think we can try and bribe him by taking him out for ice cream afterwards as a reward if he does not bite the dentist?” Ray tossed out the question recalling that Jason had advised him to do that with Jameelah when he had asked for his advice on how to work through her fear because it had been one of Alana’s tricks to instil good behaviour with Mikey at the dentist. Ray had gone to Jason because he had been so conflicted and had felt so guilty for putting Jameelah through the routine of a dental check-up after how she had acted.

“May be the same fear but I don’t think ice cream is going to cut it. Might be worth offering whiskey instead.” Jason threw back immediately figuring the kid would prefer the potential numbing qualities of the whiskey much more than he would prefer ice cream.

“He can’t have whiskey if the dentist gives him any strong pain killers and antibiotics.” Trent was quick to point out already suspecting that the dentist would be putting Clay on some sort of oral antibiotic to combat the infection that Trent strongly suspected had already set in and some strong pain relief no matter what the outcome was, whether the pained tooth was pulled or not.

“You think they will?” Ray asked hoping Trent would share his suspicions with them that he was sure he had.

“Suspect it. I’m guessing an infection has already set in too considering the swelling that has started.” Trent shrugged as dentistry or more specifically oral healthcare was not in his wheelhouse of knowledge but he knew Clay well enough to know that if he was openly exhibiting signs of pain then it was already well beyond the average ten on the pain scale.

“Damn!” Sonny, in equal parts, wanted to hold the kid until he felt safe and strangle him for letting it be so bad that he was in constant pain and discomfort. He knew Trent would be spot on, he usually was, and didn’t that just irk Sonny because once again it was not just a minor thing with Clay.

**SEAL TEAM**

Clay felt even more miserable which he had not thought would be possible after having showered and changed into his civvies rather than his uniform as the heat of the shower had only left him feeling worse and the pain increased tenfold so that his entire head felt like it was exploding as if a concussion grenade had gone off close by him, and his eyes were throbbing to a beat of their own. He reached his cage and sat down on the ground with his back up against the wall and his knees pulled to his chest once he pulled his blue hoodie on and zipped it up feeling cold like the temperature had just dropped rapidly before he let his eyes close. He didn’t even bother to locate the Tylenol that he had stored in his bag as he knew it was not going to provide him any relief as it would not even touch the pain that he felt nor did he feel like attempting to dry swallow the pills. Clay made no effort to move or even open his eyes as he heard the door open and the sound of several familiar booted feet walk in.

The sight of Clay curled up on the ground and wrapped up in his familiar blue hoodie that met the guys was not what they were expecting but it did highlight how unwell he felt as that blue hoodie was one that he would wear when he felt unwell. They were expecting all of the usual bravado that their kid exhibited. Cerberus pushed past the halted men who were all exchanging worried glances and made his way over to Clay where he laid down in front of him again and let out a soft whine before he nudged Clay’s leg with his nose.

Brock knew just by Cerb’s body language and the soft whine that he omitted that something had changed in the short time since Clay had left to take a shower and now but what was more alarming was that Clay made no effort to reach out to pet Cerb which was something he always did to reassure not only the hair missile but the rest of the team that he was alright. Brock moved into Clay’s cage and crouched in front of him seeing how Cerb moved around to Clay’s side but still kept his nose pressed against his leg. “Spense?” Brock kept his voice low as he could see how ashen Clay had become but his cheeks were flushed and he was sweating profusely; the soft tone was enough to make Clay open his eyes which were a lot duller than usual. Brock reached his hand out and placed the back of it on Clay’s forehead feeling the temperature that he was now fighting. “He’s got a fever.” Brock informed everyone as he glanced over at them with a worried look before he returned his attention to Clay who had not shied away from him.

“Since when?” Jason asked as he stepped closer and crouched down, mirroring Brock’s stance, as he gently knocked Brock’s hand away and replaced it with his own to check how high the fever was although he knew none of them could answer his question as they had all been with him. “Shit! We need to get him to the dentist now.” Truthfully Jason wasn’t sure whether to take him to the dentist or to the infirmary but logic said it was the tooth causing the initial problem so the dentist was the best option, and if the dentist decided he needed the infirmary then that was where they would end up with him.

Ray shook his head at how accurate Trent was once again, and then frowned as he realised that Clay had not tried to pull away or protest when both Brock and Jason checked his temperature. “Dentist will see him straight away. I’ll have a doctor meet us there to get him started on some fluids and antibiotics too via an intravenous cannula in his arm.” Trent had already cleared it with the dentist but he had to admit that he had not foreseen Clay going downhill so rapidly which was of great concern to him because it meant the infection had already set in as he had suspected and was rapidly progressing.

“No, no dentist.” Clay mumbled in protest as he tried not to open his mouth any wider than he had too as he finally tried to pull away from Jason’s hand where it was still rested on his forehead although the coolness of Jason’s skin against his own was a relief. “Not going, nope, not going, nope.” He grimaced as he shook his head which he instantly regretted as the pain steadily increased which made him pout. It did not matter how much pain he was in, he was going to resist going to the dentist for as long as he could even when he felt as terrible as he did.

Jason could not help the exasperated sigh that left his lips or the amused smile that made his way to his lips at the kid’s protests before he schooled his face into a more neutral expression. They had an uphill battle on their hands with the kid on taking a trip to the dentist, that much was clear to them all. Jason looked up and over to the rest of the guys for help with the exception of Brock who was holding Clay up as he had begun to list sideways despite his protesting.

“Come on pretty boy… time to put your big boy pants on and go visit the good ole dentist to get those pearly whites sorted. Got to keep you up to snuff Mr GQ.” Sonny hoped to goad Clay into going with them on his own volition rather than them having to drag him there but Sonny was also aware that his health had begun to deteriorate and that time was not on their side now that an infection had set in.

“Nope. No dentist.” No one missed how Clay attempted to curl in on himself even tighter nor the way his skin paled even further with every word he mumbled as the pain flared. He was too focused on avoiding a trip to the dentist that he did not even have a comeback to Sonny’s goading.

Trent made his way into the cage and knelt down next to Jason seeing how Brock had positioned himself somewhat uncomfortably around Cerb to stop Clay from listing sideways by holding him up. Trent could see how glazed Clay’s eyes were but he could also see the determination in them that he often saw from the kid. “The dentist is going to make you feel better Clay, and we will be with you the whole time.” Trent kept his voice light as he was using the voice he used when he did not want his patient or his brothers to panic at the situation at hand but close up he could see the seriousness of Clay’s condition and how much he had deteriorated in such a short amount of time. Trent looked at Jason and they held a silent conversation between the two of them, it was one of the things he was thankful for given that it took a decent amount of time to be able to communicate effectively without words; Trent knew that they had to ignore the kid’s protests, get him up and to the dentist’s office immediately where a doctor would be waiting for them as well, and he could also understand Jason’s hesitance as he did not want to do anything that would cause Clay to become distrustful of them especially after how hard they had worked to get him to trust them but it was a risk they had to take. “Brock give me a hand… Come on kid, up ya get.” Trent waited until Brock nodded at him before he directed his words at Clay who even in an infection deduced haze looked ready to fight them on getting up off of the ground. Trent reached out and grasped his upper arm and he and Brock managed to haul the kid up and off of the ground realising for the first time how unsteady he had become on his feet.

“I’ve got him.” Sonny stepped forward and took over Trent’s position at Clay’s side as Brock was still on his other side as he knew that Trent would want to liaise with both the dentist and the doctor who would be waiting for them, and it was best to do that out of earshot of Clay who was already freaking out if his short swallow breathing and the tenseness of his body was anything to go by as they made it the first few steps until Clay stopped just outside of his cage. “Come on pretty boy, let’s get going. Doc will give you some pain relief and then you can be tucked up in bed for the rest of the day.” He knew that the kid would not be going home on his own and not just because he was not in any fit state to drive but because they would want to monitor him closely for their own peace of mind more than anything else; he also hoped that by mentioning pain relief and being tucked up in bed that Clay would be more compliant although he withheld a scoff at his own thought as he doubted that he would go willing or make it easier on himself and them.

“No, please, no. Don’t make me go.” Clay almost begged and that undeniably pulled at each and every man’s heartstrings because of how genuinely frightened the kid sounded and looked as he physically trembled in their grasp. “I don’t want to go, please don’t make me go, please.” He was shaking his head back and forth undeterred by how much pain the movement caused or how sick it made him feel. “Can’t go, can’t go, no, please no, don’t make me go please.” He tried to twist and turn to get out of Brock and Sonny’s supportive holds but he did not have the energy or the strength to do so like he normally would.

Jason hated that he had to put the kid through a trip to the dentist but he knew there really was no other way around it. They had not even made it that far and the kid was already fighting them and having a breakdown all at the same time which meant their afternoon was going to be emotionally taxing, emotionally scarring, and there was no doubt that they would be left feeling guilty which would take time to pass just as it always did for the men of Bravo. Jason moved out of the cage and stood in front of Clay, putting both of his hands on his shoulders in an effort to ground him and he did not miss the look of guilt that was shown on all of their faces at Clay’s unbridled terror. “Clay, look at me.” Jason ordered making sure his voice was sharp and firm to get through to the panicking kid in front of him, a far cry from the usual cocky and confident persona that Clay used as a shield to protect himself and keep people at arm’s length so he did not risk being disappointed or hurt like he had been in his past. Jason waited until Clay’s eyes finally focused on him and he took a few short steadying breaths but the terror in the kid’s eyes did not recede one bit.

Jason did not know what to do as he had never seen Clay this terrified before so without any second guessing he leaned forward and rested his own forehead against Clay’s hoping the connection would help ease the fear and the panic that was coursing through him, and he made a mental note that the kid felt hotter which indicated his fever was still rising. “We are not going to let anything happen to you kid. We just want you to feel better, that’s all. We won’t leave you.” Jason kept his voice soft as he reinforced the need to trust in his brothers with Clay. Clay gave another feeble nod which made Jason pull back from him. “Let’s go.” Jason stepped aside knowing that Brock and Sonny had a tight hold on both of his arms and would hold him steady so that he did not stumble or fall. Ray and Jason fell into line a few steps behind the trio with Cerberus leading the pack as Trent went left instead of right to go and get a doctor to meet them at the dentist’s office.

“Think we found what his breaking point is.” Ray kept his voice incredibly quiet as he realised the seriousness of the situation especially if Clay was ever captured and tortured although it was an unlikely occurrence, it still concerned him because he knew that it was not a part of SERE training. Ray grimaced as he could only imagine what would happen if Clay needed any major dental restorative work in the future if something like that were to occur but he knew that they would push for Clay to be sedated.

“We can only hope no one else ever will.” Jason knew exactly what Ray was thinking as he could practically see the wheels turning in his head as they stayed far enough back to not be heard but close enough to see Clay’s body language as he became even tenser despite the soft reassurances that Sonny was giving him by repeating Jason’s earlier words. Ray nodded and sent up a silent prayer that his thought never became a reality, and that Jason’s words would be the truth.

**SEAL TEAM**

Sonny felt the second that Clay used the last of his strength to make them come to a complete stop as they reached the dentist’s office housed near the infirmary on base. It felt like they had reached the forcible entry part of the journey where Clay would most likely have to be forcibly taken into the dentist’s office which none of them were looking forward too but they were all aware it was a strong possibility. Clay had been incredibly quiet the entire slow walk over from their Team room to the building that housed the dentist and the infirmary but his anxiety had not receded any even with Sonny and Brock taking turns to offer reassurances and verbal distractions to and for him. Trent was waiting outside the building with his foot planted up against the wall as he leaned back against it but as soon as they came to a stop he frowned and began moving towards them as he quickly nodded his head at Jason to signal that everything was ready for Clay to be treated both by the dentist and the doctor.

Clay turned his head around, his eyes searching for Jason, as he saw Trent approaching as he wondered if he could convince his boss that he did not need to visit the dentist. “Boss?” Clay called quietly as he frowned at the pain even the slightest movement of his jaw caused but he was still determined not to set foot inside the building or be anywhere near a dentist.

Jason glanced at Ray who simply shook his head knowing that the kid was going to try and convince him that he was fine and that there was no need for him to be examined by a dentist but no amount of pouting or begging would change Jason’s mind. It did not mean that it would be easy to tell the kid no and force him into the dentist’s office and the chair. “We’ll get inside and get you settled in. The doctor is going to start an I.V to give you some fluids first before anything else happens.” Jason could see how defeated Clay already looked even from where he stood behind him just as Trent reached them coming to a stop in front of Clay.

“Doc is going to give you something for the pain and a muscle relaxant to help as well.” Trent picked up from where Jason had left off as he pressed his hand against Clay’s sweaty forehead quickly knowing that the fever was rising which was adding to the stress of the situation earning a scowl from the blonde who did not possess the energy to pull his head away. “And the dentist will give you lots of lidocaine so you won’t feel anything at all.” Trent continued glancing at Sonny who shook his head warning him off mentioning anything more about the dentist as Clay’s trembling had become more violent. Clay’s doe and fear filled blue eyes caught Trent off guard as he finally looked up at him and managed to focus on him. “It’s going to be alright Clay, I promise.” Trent felt a wave of protectiveness came over him as he had never seen Bravo’s kid look so terrified and that was saying something but then again there was not a surge of adrenalin to get the kid through it either.

Clay resigned himself to the fact that he was not going to get out of the strong grip that Sonny and Brock had on him, nor was he in any shape to run and hide which he knew was not very mature but the fear he felt overrode the maturity that he had. His eyes searched out his boss’ again seeing the worry that was in them before he turned back to Trent who was not hiding his concern as well as he usually would have. “Okay.” Clay mumbled as he tried to calm himself but he felt terrible which did not help him to do so.

Bravo made their way through the waiting room of the dentist office and into the small examination room which was made even smaller by the time they got Clay settled into the chair with Cerberus tucked into his side as Jason, Ray, Trent and Brock all took up spots around the room, and then they were joined by the dentist, the doctor, and the dentist’s assistant. Clay was unsettled and restless, and his hands were curled into fists with his nails digging into the palms of his hands even as the doctor got the intravenous cannula set up in his arm and started him on broad spectrum antibiotics and a bag of fluids after giving him an injectable muscle relaxant and a shot of pain relief and checking his vitals under Trent’s watchful gaze. Clay’s tension did not go unnoticed and had Cerb keeping careful watch of the movements of everyone who was unfamiliar especially after having a number of x-rays taken. Cerb belly crawled so that he was across his lap with his head rested on his stomach.

“What colour glasses do you want pretty boy?” Sonny held up two of the options hoping to distract Clay from the tray of dentistry tools that were put next to him after a paper bib was clipped around his neck. The two options were a bright fluorescent pink set or a pair that looked like oversized clear safety googles; there were more options but Sonny was not about to show him those as they were plain and boring and not the least bit distracting.

Clay barely heard a word that was said by anyone as he could not pull his focus away from the shiny and sharp, pain inducing, tools that were laid out on the tray beside him. He felt his breathing quicken and he knew that he was close to hyperventilating given how sick he already felt. He was doing everything he could to remain laying down and still in the chair.

Jason looked across at Sonny who had not received any answer to his question and shook his head at the hideous options that Sonny was holding. “Give him the plain black pair Sonny.” Jason ordered as he was sure that Clay was humiliated enough without anything extra but he also knew that the guys would not tease or joke about this with Clay because it was clearly a fear that was beyond his control as was his reaction which had them all on edge and the dentist had not even been anywhere near him.

“Alright Mr Spenser, let’s take a look shall we and see if we can’t figure out what is causing you to be in so much pain while we wait for the x-rays to be developed.” The Navy dentist sat down beside the chair next to Clay and pulled on another fresh set of off white latex gloves after Sonny slipped the glasses onto his face making him jump slightly and causing Cerberus to raise his head and let out a contemptuous growl which had Brock quickly quelling the protective hair missile. “Open your mouth please.” The dentist instructed with his mirror and his dental explorer held out as he waited before he glanced around at the large Seals who made the small room almost claustrophobic but they were unmovable given the youngest Seals current temperament and how unwell he was, no one more so then the dog.

Clay bit down hard on his bottom lip as his eyes darted frantically around the room as the dentist instructed him to open his mouth so he could be examined as his chest heaved as he struggled to breathe, and he tightened his fists sending his nails deeper into his palms, deep enough to cut into the skin. The muscle relaxant had done nothing to put him at ease as the fear and panic overrode it along with his need to stay hyperaware of what was going on, and he knew that was when his training was a disservice to him with the current predicament he found himself in.

Brock could see how antsy Cerb was getting at Clay’s panic and how his hackles rose, and at how Clay had ignored the dentist’s instruction to open his mouth as he had become more and more frantic. Brock moved forward and managed to sit himself on the edge of the chair immediately feeling how much Clay’s trembling had increased as his hip was pressed against his knee. “Spense, hey, it’s okay. You need to open your mouth for the dentist so he can help make you feel better.” Brock kept his voice soft as he spoke trying to keep the environment calm and still before he reached out for Clay’s closest hand and caught sight of the bright red blood that was slowly trickling down the inside of his wrist and into his sleeves as his own hand wrapped around Clay’s. “Trent, pass me some paper towels.” Brock reached his hand out blindly as he did not miss the questioning look that was shared between his brothers at his request. “It’s alright Spense. You’re okay. I’m just going to uncurl your hand and stop it from bleeding anymore.” He explained as soon as he was handed a wad of paper towels that had been hastily passed to him by Trent that he quickly placed on his lap; with some effort Brock managed to break the tight fist without breaking any of the bones and realised exactly what had happened as he placed one of the folded up paper towels into the palm of his bleeding hand. “Nothing major, his nails have just cut into his palms a little.” He informed the guys knowing that they were worried as they had all stepped forward to peer over to see where he was bleeding from as he cleaned and stemmed the flow of blood knowing that they had to sting, and that Trent would be cleaning them out regularly over the next few days so that they did not get infected.

Sonny let out a low curse that sounded more like a growl than anything else seeing that the dentist’s patience was starting to wear thin while Clay’s anxiety only increased as did his restlessness before he moved around to Clay’s right hand side and somehow managed to squish himself into the small area between the tray of tools and the edge of the chair. Brock wordlessly held out a few paper towels to him as Sonny followed his earlier actions and uncurled Clay’s fisted and bleeding hand but instead of holding the bloodied paper towel to his palm he placed the wad between their hands and held Clay’s hand in his and absentmindedly ran his thumb in circles over the back of his hand. “Come on bam bam, breathe through your nose and then show us that sore tooth.” Sonny coaxed taking notice of how Jason and Ray stepped forward and placed their hands over Clay’s legs while Trent stepped into his line of sight and gave him a nod that told him he would not let the dentist do anything that did not have to be done.

Clay forced himself to relax and let his mouth open as wide as he dared which was not very far as the sharp pain flared and a groan escaped his parted and chewed raw lips. The dentist earned a menacing growl from both Cerberus and Sonny as he did not miss the opportunity to begin his examination as he dived right in which set Clay into another spiralling panic as he reacted instinctively and squeezed the hands holding his as he shifted in the chair underneath of Cerb’s weight who was acting as a lap dog for him.

“Arghh, there we go. Pericoronitis – an infection near the wisdom tooth just as I suspected.” The dentist seemed rather pleased with himself and dismissive of the glares that he was being levelled with by all of the Seals except the one who was still fidgeting in the chair. “It looks like that wisdom tooth has come in partially and it has caused the tissue to become inflamed. You have yourself one very serious case of this type of infection young man.” The dentist explained with a sense of glee that had the protective men on edge.

“How do we sort it?” Jason asked after waiting for Trent to ask anything but the medic was too busy sending a daggered look towards the dentist while Clay had his eyes screwed shut in pain.

“Usually I would wait for the infection to be treated and completely gone but given Mr Spenser’s position and the fact that he is likely to be spun up at any minute, I would recommend an aggressive course of action.” The dentist paused sensing the young man’s distress rise. “I would like to remove the wisdom tooth immediately along with the damaged and infected tissue and pus otherwise there is a high chance that this will keep reoccurring and be more painful each time. We have already started him on intravenous antibiotics and I would recommend letting the bag finish before we change him onto an oral high dose antibiotic. He will need to brush and floss daily as well as rinse his mouth out with water several times a day while he is healing.” The dentist finished having had a quick glance at the x-rays as he spoke.

Clay heard the dentist’s words and was more than ready to leave as fast as he could. He pulled his hand away from out of both Sonny and Brock’s hold and quickly reached up to rip the bib away from where it was placed around his neck as he began to shake his head from side to side. As soon as the bib was off, his hand made its way to the cannula in his arm but before he could succeed in ripping that out to free himself Trent caught his wrist and squeezed making it go lax as he pressed down right on the pressure points. “Nope, not happening, nope. No teeth are leaving my mouth, nope, not today, not ever. Nope.” Clay frantically spoke as he pushed himself up into an upright position as Cerb remained undeterred from moving, while he fought against his brother’s who were trying to stop him but clearly the intravenous fluids had begun working as he did not feel as weak.

“Woah there Spenser. Just slow down.” Ray spoke calmly seeing how he was working himself up again as his chest was already heaving as he fought to catch his breath. Ray looked at Trent who had not let go of him or moved as he considered the dentist’s course of action, and Ray knew with just one look that Clay was going to be losing the infected wisdom tooth before he left the dentist’s chair.

“Can you sedate him?” Trent asked after he had considered the dentist’s proposed course of treatment knowing that the infection had previously flared and had gone untreated which was most likely why it was as bad as it was, and the dentist’s suggestion of removing it rather than waiting for the infection to dissipate would not have been made if it was not in Clay’s best interests.

Clay’s eyes widened comically as he twisted his neck so that he was looking at Trent. “What?! No! Trent! No sedation, no pulling of my tooth. No.” Clay did not care how much it hurt to talk as he frantically protested Trent’s question with a scowl. He stopped moving as he bit down on his bottom lip again as he turned back around and let his chin rest against his chest as he fought the wave of nausea that fought to surface as well as the spasm that was going through his jaw something fierce.

Jason knew he had to step in and try to calm Clay down enough that he could be rational although he knew it would be hard when he was being driven so strongly by fear. “Spenser… Clay… hey kid… this is something we have to consider because we cannot have you down and out because of an infection. Trent is only asking about sedating you to make it easier on you.” He paused as he could see how bad the pain was as Clay’s bottom lip had gone completely white and his eyes were squeezed shut tightly so he waited until it had subsided. “We rely on you and your shooting kid, need you to be 100%, not in pain or delirious with a fever. And you can’t keep popping over the counter pain pills to keep the pain and fever under control, nor can you keep starving and dehydrating yourself because it hurts to eat or drink.” He hoped to make the kid see reason as to why Trent was so keen for the extraction to be done immediately but they all were because they hated to see the torture he was going through. Clay finally felt the nausea abate enough that he slowly raised his head to look at his team leader, and could see the sincerity in his eyes and hear it in his words.

Clay knew that what Jason was saying was the truth and that it was not healthy to continue hoping that the infection would run its course without any further intervention but the fear he felt still coursed violently through his weakened body. Even the idea of being sedated felt like too much because then he would have no control and no idea of what was being done to him. Clay felt as Trent finally let go of his wrist as he glanced around the room whilst avoiding the looks of his brothers who were all paying close attention. Clay frowned and finally released his bottom lip from its toothy prison as his eyes settled on Cerb, and his blood stained hands instinctively reached out to pat him. “You won’t leave me though?” The insecurity flooded him even as he was angry at himself for asking the question but the words slipped from his aching mouth before he could stop them.

“You can’t get rid of us Spence. We would be Cerb’s newest chew toy.” Brock answered hating the insecurity that Clay was showing him, not because he was showing them it but because he had it and they all silently were aware that it most likely stemmed from his childhood and from the abandonment by Ash Spenser. There was no way to separate Cerb from Clay which was a fact Brock was well aware of but he saw no need to either. Bravo had a code, not just a code that all Seals lived by, that meant if they could then they would always be there for one another, always find one another, and never ever leave a man behind.

Clay sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth once more, not even registering the pain that it caused, before he released it. “Sedation… I don’t… I can’t… not nice… to uh… umm… wake up alone from it.” Clay struggled with the words as he recalled how hard it was to wake up alone after being sedated the few times that he had been, and how he did not react well to being sedated. Cerb let out a bark once he stopped speaking and Clay reacted by scratching behind his ears.

“We are not going anywhere goldilocks. Immovable objects is the term, I think.” Sonny chewed on his toothpick that he had just slid between his teeth not missing the disgruntled look that the dentist sent his way but wisely chose not to comment on for doing so. He had read between the lines of what their youngest brother had managed to stutter out and that was that being sedated left him disorientated and unwell, and used that to respond in the firmest yet softest way he could. “Ole’ Sonny ain’t going to let the dentist do anything more than what he needs to do to get rid of that problem tooth.” He tacked on for the dentist’s purpose more so than for Clay’s security, sending a silent warning that if he did anything more than what was required then he would have one Texas sized problem to deal with.

“It will be a very mild sedation Clay so that will help when you wake up, and we will give you another dose of pain meds in the I.V. line to help as well.” Trent added knowing that balancing his awareness with his pain was crucial so that it did not add to the fear that he had about the dentist. If they could get it right this time then maybe next time it would not be so hard on Clay.

“It will stop the pain? No lasting effects?” Clay spoke to the dentist for the first time, only glimpsing his way before he returned his attention to Cerb who was enjoying the firm and repetitive pats that Clay was coordinating, and the fingers that were diligently scratching at his favourite spot behind his ears.

“As soon as the infection is resolved and the tooth removed you will feel better, and there will be no chance of a reoccurrence. There will be no lasting effects as long as we act quickly and you do the follow up work of brushing, flossing and rinsing.” The dentist answered calmly knowing that he would be extracting the tooth just as he wanted while successfully hiding his surprise at the young man’s fear and panic of him and his chosen profession and at the other Seals that had accompanied him and were supporting him; Bravo was definitely a close knit Tier One team which was evident in the care that they were showing to Clay.

“Not leaving here with the tooth, am I?” Clay asked with the last bit of hope that he would diminishing fairly quickly as all of his Bravo brothers shook their heads resolutely. What Jason had said was right, Clay knew he was right, and felt that he was being selfish for not wanting to get it sorted as he prepared himself mentally to be sedated and for waking up without his aching tooth but he still was struggling with having the dentist working on him. “Okay, do what you have to do.” Clay hated to give permission to have his tooth removed but he understood the risks if he left it to himself and to his team, and he knew that he would not be alone as they would all stay with him because Bravo men were men of their word.

“Alright young man, lets get you laying back down and get started.” The dentist was not surprised to see the sedative already being drawn up to be injected into the cannula by the doctor who somehow had just what was required on hand.

Clay reluctantly laid back down and tried to relax as much as he could as he picked a spot to keep his attention on as he stared up at the ceiling. Trent took the syringe from the doctor and pushed the quick acting sedative into the cannula knowing that it had to be done before he changed his mind. “Just close your eyes Clay. We’re right here.” Brock instructed and then reaffirmed that they were with him as he instinctively reached out and took the closest hand of Clay’s back into his seeing the tension that remained. Clay blew out a harsh almost ragged breath as he was reluctant to close his eyes but the sedative entering his blood stream was making it hard to fight the lull of Brock’s calm tone and keep his eyelids open. “You’ll feel better soon brother.” Trent couldn’t help but reach out and push the sweat drenched and matted curls from Clay’s forehead once he finally gave in and closed his eyes, letting the sedation take over.

“I’ll step out and call Naima and get her to pick some things up for tonight including some ice cream and Jell-O. We will take Clay back to my house and he can rest, even join in later with the barbeque if he feels up to it.” Ray knew that none of them wanted Clay to be alone and that Clay did not want to be alone so the best thing was to have a barbeque and let Clay lounge on the couch or sleep or do whatever he wanted under their watchful eyes. Ray saw Jason nod in confirmation at his suggestion and stepped out to make the phone call knowing that none of them were moving except for Sonny who returned to his position against the wall as the dental assistant needed to help the dentist who had gotten underway quickly now that his patient was sedated.

**SEAL TEAM**

Naima smiled fondly as she watched from the kitchen as Ray tucked the thick duvet over Clay once more who was curled up asleep on their couch as he passed through on his way to the fridge for another round of beers for the rest of Bravo who were all sitting outside and keeping careful watch on him. Naima had been surprised at how bad Clay had looked when Brock and Sonny had walked him in and then settled him on the couch with Cerb quickly tucking himself into his side over top of the blanket as all Ray had told her was that he had to have a tooth removed but after she had learned more about what had been going on she understood why the young blonde was ashen, barely coherent, his face and neck swollen, and he had dark circles under his eyes from a lack of sleep.

“Do you think it might be time to wake him up and get him to have something to eat? It will help the sedation wear off better.” Naima kept his voice low as she asked Ray what was best even though she was a trained nurse he was the one who knew Clay better.

“Trent said it was best to let him sleep especially with how settled he is, we doubt the kid has slept well in weeks or has had any sleep at all in the past seventy two hours or so given the level of pain he was in and tried to hide plus all of the panicking at the dentist’s exhausted him.” Ray answered as he closed the fridge door as gently as he could after having used his hip to nudge it closed.

“Go back to the guys before they come looking for those beers or complaining that they are warm.” Naima smiled as she ordered her husband out so that Clay would not be disturbed.

“I love you.” Ray told her once he had stolen a kiss as he left the kitchen with his hands full of fresh bottles of beer.

Ray handed out the beers as soon as he returned to the table and took his seat. “Clay’s still out to it, I don’t think he’s actually moved since he laid down and curled up.” He knew they were waiting for an update even though they could see their youngest through the glass pane of the door.

Sonny nodded distractedly as he picked and peeled at the label on the bottle of beer in his hand that was still half full before his eyes glanced towards Clay again and his brow furrowed enough that it was picked up on. “What are you thinking about Sonny?” Jason had noticed the change of demeanour in the man and how quiet he had been as well as the short stolen glances through the glass at Clay.

“Just thinking of what could have made blondie so damn terrified of a dentist that he would rather feel like complete crap and be in unmanageable pain then go and get it sorted.” A part of Sonny wanted to strangle whoever had made the kid so terrified of dentists while the bigger and well-hidden side wanted to assure that the kid never found himself so sick and so pain ridden or went through a trip to the dentists alone ever again.

“It’s kind of surreal to think that the kid will walk through a hail of bullets and not even flinch but the mere mention of going to the dentist causes the meltdown of the century. It doesn’t make sense but then again it might never.” The irony of Trent’s words were not lost on any of them as he shrugged and exchanged his empty beer bottle for his fresh one.

“But something had to happen right? For him to be so terrified?” Sonny pressed as his eyes once again found their way over to the kid and Cerb as they were tucked up together on the couch.

“He’s okay Sonny. He probably won’t feel to flash for the next few days but as soon as the infection is clear he will.” Trent could see the worry in the man’s eyes and normally he would make a comment about how the tough shell of a man had a gooey soft centre but they were all just as concerned so the time for jokes and jabs was not now.

“I don’t think he should be left alone until he does, and he can’t stay curled up on Ray’s couch either.” Jason knew that Ray and Naima would not make Clay move if he was as content as he appeared but with two young children it just was not fair, and he was sure that eventually Clay would want his own bed although Brock might have a hard time convincing Cerb to be away from Clay.

“At least just until the fever breaks and he isn’t so out of it with the sedation still in his system.” Trent clarified knowing that the large dose of potent antibiotics that Clay had already had would help to remedy the infection quicker but the fever was yet to break although it had reduced significantly as the kid did not feel like a radiating furnace any longer.

“We’ll figure it out – have him on base with us during the day as an observer until he’s ready to train again, and between all of us we can cover him at home… The kid was right about him not reacting to well to being sedated.” Brock shrugged slightly as he began to speak knowing that Clay could observe and see things that they might not see during a training exercise before he softened his voice as he spoke of Clay’s reaction to the sedation or rather waking up from the sedation. “I mean, should he have been as groggy as he was?” Brock picked up on Sonny’s worried as soon as Clay had startled awake with a look of sheer panic for the first time after his tooth was pulled which had been tough to watch even though none of them were squeamish as he directed his question to Trent who knew more about the type of sedation that was used than any of them.

“It’s hard to say but he did forewarn us that he did not react well to being sedated although I suspect having us with him meant he came out of it better than he has previously. It could just be the type of sedation, and there are other types to try to see which works best for him if he needs to be sedated again, or it could just be that he does not react well to any sedation.” Trent paused knowing that his answer was not what any of them wanted to hear but it was hard to know without a baseline to determine if the type of or length of sedation made a difference to how Clay reacted to it. “He also had a large amount of high dose antibiotics and I near enough maxed him out on pain medication as well so that could all interact with the sedation and account for the grogginess in part.” He finished easily giving his best guess.

“If that was good then I’d hate to know how he is when he wakes from being sedated and finds out he is alone.” Ray bristled heavily with a frown knowing that Clay had been completely unsettled and extremely panicked, and that had been unnerving to even the toughest of Seals. He glanced once more at Clay seeing that Cerb had risen to his paws and had begun to nudge his cold wet nose into the crux of Clay’s shoulder insistently as the duvet had slipped from his shoulders and left the skin exposed. “Something’s not right.” Ray rose to his feet but Brock was already through the door into the lounge having picked up on Cerb’s change of behaviour immediately.

“Down Cerb.” Brock ordered with a click of his fingers but the only response he got was a sharp drawn out whine as he was half way to the couch knowing that his brothers had followed after him. Brock withheld the smile at his stubborn dog and the reprimand that he should give to Cerb for disobeying his order as he knew that the hair missile was just doing what they all wanted to do which was help Clay to feel better. Brock reached Clay first and saw his dull blue eyes were half lidded even though he was trying to press the non-swollen side of his face into the pillow and pull the duvet over his head which Cerb would not allow hence the nudging.

“You’re alright Clay. We are here.” Brock kept his voice soft as he stepped to the side so that Trent could check on him while Cerb remained unmoved although he would not let the duvet be moved at all as he stood firm. Clay’s eyes opened fully as he became more aware of his surroundings which only made him confused but he felt himself calm as his brothers were close by. “Owww.” Clay groaned and pouted although he was relieved that Cerb had finally stopped nudging at him but slightly annoyed that he still could not pull the duvet over his head as he wanted too.

“Yeah, you’re going to be sore for a little bit but everything went well.” Trent had knelt down on the floor next to the couch and in Clay’s line of sight before he spoke quietly knowing that the pain medication would be wearing off but he was hesitant to give him anymore for a few more hours at least.

“No tooth, gone?” Clay mumbled slowly as he felt completely spacey and the pain was still present although it felt different as his tongue ran over his gum and dipped into the empty cavity that he now had where his tooth was extracted from. He still felt cold yet sticky which just added to the yucky feeling that he despised but had become all too familiar to him as of late.

“The tooth is gone kid, and it all went to plan.” Jason answered somewhat surprised at how groggy Clay still was considering the amount of time that had passed since he had been sedated but as they had already figured out Clay and sedatives did not mix well together.

Clay did not recall closing his eyes but he managed to open them enough to peer at his brothers who were crowded around him as he took in and slowly processed Jason’s words. With a feeble nod and another tug at the duvet to pull it over his shoulders he closed his eyes again and let himself drift back to sleep.

Brock reached out and scratched Cerb’s head as the dog resettled at Clay’s side after Trent had stood up and stepped back from his side. “Let’s go back out and finish our beers, leave Spenser to sleep.” Ray tipped his head back towards the outdoor table knowing that none of them would be going anywhere tonight nor would they be getting any sleep despite how content and comfortable Clay was curled up on his couch. One by one the men returned to the table with the exception of Sonny who stood at the end of the couch nearest Clay’s head.

“Night little brother.” Sonny whispered delicately with a fond smile making its way to his lips as he reached out and gently tucked the duvet in around their youngest brother’s shoulders before he re-joined his brothers at the table to remain close by to make sure that he was really okay.


End file.
